Post by eric on May 31, 2018 21:08:16 GMT
21. Hornets - Hawks
Hornets 01 second for Rakym Felder
Felder posted a stiff -3 Win Shares, helping Muzunga secure the worst record in the Beastern Conference and 1.2 odds.
Snapped up by the Bullets on a min and proceeded to play zero minutes before being retired by Brad Miller.
In a feat of cosmic irony, the second rounder went on to become Brad Sellers after an intervening trade.
It's Brads all the way down, Karen.
The Soundtrack: The Weight - The Band
.
22. Magic - Kings
Udoka Azubuike, Peyton Gragg, and three firsts for Gerald Martin Johanssen and Zeus Shuttlesworth
Two of the firsts were later traded for Carl Braun.
The other was traded for a first in the same draft - fason drafted a guy named Irish and AngryKing drafted a guy named McCormick.
As they say on the Emerald Isle, mazel tov.
GMJ was a solid wing in 2000, just like Gragg.
Turns out Gragg is actually not a wing though, and he put up 13 WS as a big.
The less said about the other two guys the better.
Udoka Azubuike is so bad he makes Kelenna Azubuike look like Ime Udoka.
Zeus Shuttlesworth is so bad he makes Jesus Shuttlesworth (5.0) look like Jesus Shuttlesworth (4.0).
Carl Braun is so bad- well, we'll get to him in a minute.
Scenic Act: A wing, a wing, my Pentium for a wing…
.
23. [REDACTED]
We do not speak of trade 23.
.
24. Rockets - Bulls
Jan Michael Vincent and 02 first for Christ Koumadje
This trade would have been a bloodbath in 4.0, Christ is a prototypical d/r big.
But in 5.0 he's just a tool and die carpenter in a robo-information post-service economy.
The pick eventually turned into Steve Burtt.
I guess Steve Erniee was unavailable lmbo got 'mmm
Rick and Morty reference: Wub the lub the dub step! I just bought some Szechuan Blue Diamond almonds, Morty!
.
25. Lakers - Hawks
Juan Keaney and Jaylen Adams for DeSean Murray, 03 first, 01 hornets 2nd, and 10k
Juan Keaney is one of the very few 4.0 legends to hold form in 5.0, providing slightly above average wing play.
Desean Murray eventually showed flashes in Houston before being brought back to Atlanta to ride the pine for $40 a night.
If JHB can rescue Bead Sellers from G League purgatory he might just employ every player in this trade.
So he's got that going for him.
Buster : Quit
.
26. Warriors - Kings
Carl Braun for Jeff Roberson, Gary Clark, Alex Abdul-Wahad, 01 and 03 Magic firsts
Career WS/48 for each of these guys: .06, .07, .09.
Which one is which?
Yes.
Billy: is a highly motivated seller of Carl Braun. Carl Braun is at a ten year high. Free lotto pick!
.
27. Globetrotters - Warriors
Jaron Willis and 01 Wolves first for Borat Sagdiyev
Boy this is hard to watch.
You hate to see this kind of trade from a great GM.
Set the franchise back two years.
But two years later, Borat was consigned to the pine and Jaron was back in Harlem.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
The Globetrotters: won the title in 2002. That's the joke.
P.S.: The first turned into Kenny G., who looks a little frisky out in Golden State.
Not sure I'd want my young stud spending practice hours honking a saxophone, but hey, whatever works.
.
28. Hawks - Kings
Damien Carter for Paschal Chukwu, Mel Riebe
I could do a whole spiel on Paschal vs. Pascal.
The sacred mystery of how our eyes don't explode out of their sockets.
It would provoke quite the sensible chuckle if I do say so myself.
But there's nothing funny about 10 boards (rebounds) and 2 bleals (blocks + steals) off the bench.
And that's what Chukwu's giving you.
If I Had Eleven Jack Colemans: I'd lose a lot of soccer matches, or "lorries".
.
29. Hawks - Warriors
Juwan Morgan and Elle Okobo for Omar Little and Khadeem Lattin
Omar looked pretty solid last year.
And now he's dead.
jhb : Hates having players whose surnames are prefixed Oko- on his team.
.
30. Timberwolves - Mavericks
Teodor Ethan, 03 first, and 5k for Mountain Dew Camacho
The President is a good backup.
The Commander is crap.
I doubt Michael "EriC+" Dickerson is going to change anyone's mind down the road.
Good trade both ways.
Good guys: good GMs.
.
31. Pacers - Lakers
Jim Pollard, 03 first, and 5k for James Thompson IV and Theo Pinson
Jim Pollard went to Stanford and played in the 50s.
But I guess small town values don't matter in big city Indianapolis.
Always looking to save a buck, plutocratic Herb "I Love Simony" Simon ran him out of town on a rail.
Too bad, since the Kangaroo Kid has looked pretty spry down Houston way.
I guess to some people 49/87/41 < 8,000,000 8,000,000 8,000,000
I may not be an ivory tower mathematician ahebrewtoo but when the ball goes in the basket that's worth two points.
And if your fat cat luxurygentsia have to cut back on their platinum glazed sous vide Swarovski veal hors d'oeuvres…
I mean they probably should be cutting that anyway.
That sounds: incredibly dangerous.
Hornets 01 second for Rakym Felder
Felder posted a stiff -3 Win Shares, helping Muzunga secure the worst record in the Beastern Conference and 1.2 odds.
Snapped up by the Bullets on a min and proceeded to play zero minutes before being retired by Brad Miller.
In a feat of cosmic irony, the second rounder went on to become Brad Sellers after an intervening trade.
It's Brads all the way down, Karen.
The Soundtrack: The Weight - The Band
.
22. Magic - Kings
Udoka Azubuike, Peyton Gragg, and three firsts for Gerald Martin Johanssen and Zeus Shuttlesworth
Two of the firsts were later traded for Carl Braun.
The other was traded for a first in the same draft - fason drafted a guy named Irish and AngryKing drafted a guy named McCormick.
As they say on the Emerald Isle, mazel tov.
GMJ was a solid wing in 2000, just like Gragg.
Turns out Gragg is actually not a wing though, and he put up 13 WS as a big.
The less said about the other two guys the better.
Udoka Azubuike is so bad he makes Kelenna Azubuike look like Ime Udoka.
Zeus Shuttlesworth is so bad he makes Jesus Shuttlesworth (5.0) look like Jesus Shuttlesworth (4.0).
Carl Braun is so bad- well, we'll get to him in a minute.
Scenic Act: A wing, a wing, my Pentium for a wing…
.
23. [REDACTED]
We do not speak of trade 23.
.
24. Rockets - Bulls
Jan Michael Vincent and 02 first for Christ Koumadje
This trade would have been a bloodbath in 4.0, Christ is a prototypical d/r big.
But in 5.0 he's just a tool and die carpenter in a robo-information post-service economy.
The pick eventually turned into Steve Burtt.
I guess Steve Erniee was unavailable lmbo got 'mmm
Rick and Morty reference: Wub the lub the dub step! I just bought some Szechuan Blue Diamond almonds, Morty!
.
25. Lakers - Hawks
Juan Keaney and Jaylen Adams for DeSean Murray, 03 first, 01 hornets 2nd, and 10k
Juan Keaney is one of the very few 4.0 legends to hold form in 5.0, providing slightly above average wing play.
Desean Murray eventually showed flashes in Houston before being brought back to Atlanta to ride the pine for $40 a night.
If JHB can rescue Bead Sellers from G League purgatory he might just employ every player in this trade.
So he's got that going for him.
Buster : Quit
.
26. Warriors - Kings
Carl Braun for Jeff Roberson, Gary Clark, Alex Abdul-Wahad, 01 and 03 Magic firsts
Career WS/48 for each of these guys: .06, .07, .09.
Which one is which?
Yes.
Billy: is a highly motivated seller of Carl Braun. Carl Braun is at a ten year high. Free lotto pick!
.
27. Globetrotters - Warriors
Jaron Willis and 01 Wolves first for Borat Sagdiyev
Boy this is hard to watch.
You hate to see this kind of trade from a great GM.
Set the franchise back two years.
But two years later, Borat was consigned to the pine and Jaron was back in Harlem.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
The Globetrotters: won the title in 2002. That's the joke.
P.S.: The first turned into Kenny G., who looks a little frisky out in Golden State.
Not sure I'd want my young stud spending practice hours honking a saxophone, but hey, whatever works.
.
28. Hawks - Kings
Damien Carter for Paschal Chukwu, Mel Riebe
I could do a whole spiel on Paschal vs. Pascal.
The sacred mystery of how our eyes don't explode out of their sockets.
It would provoke quite the sensible chuckle if I do say so myself.
But there's nothing funny about 10 boards (rebounds) and 2 bleals (blocks + steals) off the bench.
And that's what Chukwu's giving you.
If I Had Eleven Jack Colemans: I'd lose a lot of soccer matches, or "lorries".
.
29. Hawks - Warriors
Juwan Morgan and Elle Okobo for Omar Little and Khadeem Lattin
Omar looked pretty solid last year.
And now he's dead.
jhb : Hates having players whose surnames are prefixed Oko- on his team.
.
30. Timberwolves - Mavericks
Teodor Ethan, 03 first, and 5k for Mountain Dew Camacho
The President is a good backup.
The Commander is crap.
I doubt Michael "EriC+" Dickerson is going to change anyone's mind down the road.
Good trade both ways.
Good guys: good GMs.
.
31. Pacers - Lakers
Jim Pollard, 03 first, and 5k for James Thompson IV and Theo Pinson
Jim Pollard went to Stanford and played in the 50s.
But I guess small town values don't matter in big city Indianapolis.
Always looking to save a buck, plutocratic Herb "I Love Simony" Simon ran him out of town on a rail.
Too bad, since the Kangaroo Kid has looked pretty spry down Houston way.
I guess to some people 49/87/41 < 8,000,000 8,000,000 8,000,000
I may not be an ivory tower mathematician ahebrewtoo but when the ball goes in the basket that's worth two points.
And if your fat cat luxurygentsia have to cut back on their platinum glazed sous vide Swarovski veal hors d'oeuvres…
I mean they probably should be cutting that anyway.
That sounds: incredibly dangerous.
