Post by ahebrewtoo on May 17, 2018 15:58:49 GMT
Look. I'm going to make observations about your team. Some of them may be nice. Some of them may be mean. There will be sarcasm. There will be axes ground. I hope you like it.
The Eastern Conference
Boston Celtics - This is a trash roster with very little hope of getting better soon. 25m locked up in bigs that have played a total of 15 minutes all season. 10m for a backup PG. The best player on this team, George Hauptfuhrer, is on an LLE. Just a really gross situation.
Harlem Globetrotters - +14 ppg is great. Jock and Dolph are great. Elvis is great. This team is great. You know what's not great? Being in the same conference as the Globetrotters. We just have to hope for an injury to the front court, because there is not a lot of depth to the bigs.
Miami Heat - Zion looks great and he is only 20. He's also expiring. Looking more carefully, I wonder how much of Zion looking good is attributable to the fact that no one else on this roster can score. If they had one more scoring big, I wonder if Stockton would be leading the league in assists. Stockton looks like he will be a great player, especially if he gets some 3 pt luck in TC.
New York Knicks - So Quincy McCall is basically what I'd expect Stockton to be if the Heat had a 1-2 punch like Firsto and Haynes. This offseason is going to be significant in the little town of New York, as the bigs and McCall are all going to be free agents. Also, lol at Eric taking the Pacers sloppy seconds of unwanted scrap heap back up bigs. Novak? Otten? You should just trade for Oyedeji at this point eric.
Orlando Magic - People talk about Grinder being potentially the best big in the league. Do these people see the putrid rebounding? And I'd bet most of those are defensive boards. She is a great defensive player and appears to be hyper efficient. I think she is great - but get out of here with the "best big in sim" talk. I don't know what to make of Cameron Parker. A big averaging nearly 4 topg is a pariah in Indiana. But he is a double-double machine. GMJ is really the only other player worth mentioning on this squad. He is really efficient. I like that. Also, the C- defense grades are about the ugliest thing I've ever seen. They are all over the place and I just can't take it.
Washington Bullets - The young core is here, but none of them want to score buckets. Horny, Barkley, McCoy - they've all got a touch of the Maggette. It looks like Aljami Durham is still a thing, which is a little surprising. I'd probably put my points into Barkley and Hornacek. In fact, I think I'd probably make Hornacek the focal point of this squad. He and Shittu could be a great 1-2 punch and if Barkley develops some defense this team could be solidly in the contending pack in a few years.
Washington Wizards - Meadowlark Lemon is a player I targeted the first offseason as a point guard for the Pacers. Then I realized he isn't PG eligible. That's really a shame. Anyways. Goga Bitadze is a player I'd never paid attention to. He looks really good. Even without much more love in TC, he is a solid starting big. If there is some potential there, he could be an all-star in a year or two. Chimp Godbolt's grades look really nice for a young PG in Odin's 5.0, but his shooting percentages are trash. Hopefully that is a small sample size.
Atlanta Hawks - This squad some nice pieces. This is a team I would be proud to GM. Well done. SYKE! Let's break this down. LiAngelo Ball, with a C defense, has more steals per game than Benji Hammon has rebounds per game. That means that Ball has got to have some horrendous perimeter defense with steals that high. Teams shoot nearly 49% from the field against the Hawks. Checks out. From point guard to center, there isn't a single starter on this team that I'd prefer over the Pacers starters. Yet we've got a losing record and the Hawks a winning record. NOT FAIR!
Charlotte Hornets - RJ Barrett has turned into a middle of the road wing. Not what you want from creation 1.2, but it's not as bad as I expected. The rest of the team is really quite uninteresting. I guess Shareef O'Neal looks decent. I could see him being a fringe all star big with some development. Everyone else is OK but not exciting. Bunch of role players playing starting minutes on a bad team. How did the Pacers lose to this trash? Ugh.
Chicago Bulls - Sam Perkins was a Pacer irl for a minute. I loved him. Unathletic big dude that shot 3 pt shots flat footed. Oh, and he went to the finals while he was a Pacer. Anyways - he looks pretty good in sim, too. I want to vote Romeo > RJ, but I'm not sure I can get past the TOs and the C- defense. And it's sad, too, because defense is the one thing I'm worried about with him irl. I had a dream a couple of nights ago that Romeo decided to forego college and played in a semi-pro league in Atlanta. It was weird. I don't know why the Bulls became a heebs biographical entry, but so be it.
Cleveland Cavaliers - Sabonis is pretty disappointing to be honest. I guess we just need to de-couple sim and RL. And, looking at Alvin Robertson, we also need to disassociate 4.0 and 5.0. The Cavs ought to get Chuck Chuckovits some more PT. Like maybe all of Alvin's minutes. That dude looks bad. Sorry Shaun.
Detroit Pistons - DE-TROIT BAS-KET-BALL!! Dumptown has a good 1-2 punch with Maye and Moon. The only better M&M combo is the peanut butter M&M. Deal with it, Reeses Pieces! He needs legit bigs and a PG to really be a contender though. Seriously, how are the Pacers so bad?
Indiana Pacers - The sum is worse than its parts I guess. KBD is having a slump after last year's break out season. That's probably got a little to do with the Pacers's poor start. Also Wanzer shouldn't have been a starting PG. Hopefully Cortezzee doesn't drop to B handling again next TC. He will, but I really dislike maintaining a player's eligibility like that.
Milwaukee Bucks - Another team with dominant bigs. This could be an all-time great trio with Ayton, Champ, and Tacko in a couple of years. Champ does need some shot blocking to be elite though. The wings and PG situation is pretty bad though. I wish we had peak activity Trofie that would turn this rough lump of clay into a championship team. He's one of the elite deal makers and with a little effort this team would be great.
Toronto Raptors - Carsen Edwards looks pretty good. Has some TO issues, but other than that he is clearly better than Dump. Miles Bridges is keeping this team out of the trash heap of the Eastern conference though. The good news for [insert Raptors GM] is that they will have a lot of cap space this offseason to play with. No one expiring is worth bringing back on Day 1, so hopefully they hit on a FA to pair with Bridges and Edwards.
The Western Conference
Dallas Mavericks - Cameron and Tillie need help. The bigs are really bad. The only nice thing I can say about them is that Christ can block some shots. Other than that, it's a "douse it with fire and toss a match" type situation. I'd probably start Kayson Williams at PG. Or maybe even Stockston. I don't think Miller is the right choice there. Honestly, with a modest set of bigs this is a playoff caliber team with Kayson Williams at PG. Go get some bigs.
Denver Nuggets - Let's check back in with the Nuggets. Kevin Nash looks pretty good. Not outstanding, but better than I was expecting when I clicked the team link. Jordan looks like he has a very good foundation. He needs a lot of points though. GM Mike needs to write some articles, join a podcast or two, or participate in some round tables. Just do it, Mike!
Houston Rockets - One time I was chatting on XBL with Pete and he was telling me how small his championship window was. After last offseason I would have said he was nuts. Now I think he might have been on to something. Winter is an absolute stud. Harry G - also very nice. Guy Beahm hasn't translated from G League to the big leagues. Jesus Shuttlesworth appears to also be having an off year. I don't really have any advice for Pete. Maybe try Beahm as a #1 scoring option and see if you can maximize his efficiency? I honestly don't know why this team is 10-12.
Minnesota Timberwolves - Good thing Ian paid 3 firsts for Chalky on a max instead of paying 2 firsts for Killie on a 6m deal. WHOOPS! Without his picks, and with his front court retiring in a season or two, I expect the Timberwolves to be open to a new GM around 2005.
Phoenix Suns - Remember when we were discussing how [insert big whose name I've already forgotten] might be the best big in sim? Hello Hakeem! This dude is a monster and will only get better. That's scary. The Suns overall are in a great situation. They need to upgrade McRae's jump shot immediately and they will be a title contender this year. Max, McRae, and Hakeem are as good a 1-3 as there is in the league right now.
San Antonio Spurs - Dear 👨🏼⚕️delapandemic🚑 - rescue Neon. I'm not sure what else to say about this squad. Someone needs to rescue Neon.
Utah Jazz - Bossert and Yante are a great duo. Ankly needs to move Chuck, who deserves a bigger role than third wing, and other assets for a third star. Ulaakees is serviceable, so maybe Ankly needs to move on Neon. I swear, MJ owes me some dump bucks for the last couple of entries. Someone rescue Neon.
Golden State Warriors - Duckworth is an old school D/R big. I always start my observations with the bigs if they are note worthy. Maybe I should scan up the roster instead of down it. I'll try that next. Anyways, the rest of this roster is OK. Okobo and Price look decent. Doncic is overpaid, but not horrible. No one really stands out though. No stars.
Los Angeles Lakers - Ok, so I didn't start with the PGs because I know who I want to discuss. Watford looks great. He's going to be great in Bloomington, so it makes sense he is this good. I wonder what would have been if Watford had been a PF through all of his TCs. He'd be an even better looking prospect blocking close to 1 shot per game. Oh well. Nothing else really outstanding on the Lakers squad. I think they have a ton of picks from their creation draft wheeling and dealing. Looks like it's just Bias so far and nothing else special. Maybe they're in G league.
Portland Trailblazers - Ok Andre Turner. Not bad for a 23 year old PG. I wonder why he's not starting though. Is he a combo guard and therefore not eligible to start? Guido Longfellow has not earned his contract so far this year. That's probably the biggest reason for the difference between last year's playoff Blazers and this year's not gonna make the playoff Blazers. Also, did we clear up the Bonga eligiblity thing? SFs bigger than 6'8" be SG eligible?
Sacramento Kings - BK has done a nice job with this roster. Very good front court, but not in the sense that it is a dominant inside based offense. They just rebound, block shots, and don't turn it over or take bad shots. Impressively solid actually. The only weakness appears to be Braun, who needs to be benched if he doesn't turn this around. There are enough wings in the league that you don't need to start a guy that inefficient.
Seattle Supersonics - Shit, I forgot the Clippers. I'll get them next. Not sure how I skipped them, but I sure did. Anyways. The Sonics. Has there ever been a name more appropriate for a team like this than Sum Ting Wong? Ok. There is no shot blocking. Basically no steals. Too many turnovers. Not enough rebounding. And the FG% is really bad. Can we get a name change to Lot Tings Wong? @odin
Los Angeles Clippers - Another sim league, another Fason dynasty. It's sick how good this team is. Things could change quickly this offseason though. Fason needs to bring back at least McDermott to keep the good times rolling. That said, if he lost McDermott he could probably trade Rui and picks for another star PG and be right back at the top with a little less depth. Grats Fason - really nice looking team.
Vancouver Grizzlies - How good could Barry Obama be he didn't play third fiddle to Stephon and Mikan? If I had one complaint about this team it is that they don't block shots or rebound at an elite rate. That said, it's a solid 1-2 punch of bigs with a great PG. I wonder what would happen if they traded some of their depth for a legit 2, ran an outside offense with scoring options of Barry, [SG TBD], and Templeton. It would cut down on Mikan's TOs and put the ball in Obama's hands more. Just a random observation.
The Eastern Conference
Boston Celtics - This is a trash roster with very little hope of getting better soon. 25m locked up in bigs that have played a total of 15 minutes all season. 10m for a backup PG. The best player on this team, George Hauptfuhrer, is on an LLE. Just a really gross situation.
Harlem Globetrotters - +14 ppg is great. Jock and Dolph are great. Elvis is great. This team is great. You know what's not great? Being in the same conference as the Globetrotters. We just have to hope for an injury to the front court, because there is not a lot of depth to the bigs.
Miami Heat - Zion looks great and he is only 20. He's also expiring. Looking more carefully, I wonder how much of Zion looking good is attributable to the fact that no one else on this roster can score. If they had one more scoring big, I wonder if Stockton would be leading the league in assists. Stockton looks like he will be a great player, especially if he gets some 3 pt luck in TC.
New York Knicks - So Quincy McCall is basically what I'd expect Stockton to be if the Heat had a 1-2 punch like Firsto and Haynes. This offseason is going to be significant in the little town of New York, as the bigs and McCall are all going to be free agents. Also, lol at Eric taking the Pacers sloppy seconds of unwanted scrap heap back up bigs. Novak? Otten? You should just trade for Oyedeji at this point eric.
Orlando Magic - People talk about Grinder being potentially the best big in the league. Do these people see the putrid rebounding? And I'd bet most of those are defensive boards. She is a great defensive player and appears to be hyper efficient. I think she is great - but get out of here with the "best big in sim" talk. I don't know what to make of Cameron Parker. A big averaging nearly 4 topg is a pariah in Indiana. But he is a double-double machine. GMJ is really the only other player worth mentioning on this squad. He is really efficient. I like that. Also, the C- defense grades are about the ugliest thing I've ever seen. They are all over the place and I just can't take it.
Washington Bullets - The young core is here, but none of them want to score buckets. Horny, Barkley, McCoy - they've all got a touch of the Maggette. It looks like Aljami Durham is still a thing, which is a little surprising. I'd probably put my points into Barkley and Hornacek. In fact, I think I'd probably make Hornacek the focal point of this squad. He and Shittu could be a great 1-2 punch and if Barkley develops some defense this team could be solidly in the contending pack in a few years.
Washington Wizards - Meadowlark Lemon is a player I targeted the first offseason as a point guard for the Pacers. Then I realized he isn't PG eligible. That's really a shame. Anyways. Goga Bitadze is a player I'd never paid attention to. He looks really good. Even without much more love in TC, he is a solid starting big. If there is some potential there, he could be an all-star in a year or two. Chimp Godbolt's grades look really nice for a young PG in Odin's 5.0, but his shooting percentages are trash. Hopefully that is a small sample size.
Atlanta Hawks - This squad some nice pieces. This is a team I would be proud to GM. Well done. SYKE! Let's break this down. LiAngelo Ball, with a C defense, has more steals per game than Benji Hammon has rebounds per game. That means that Ball has got to have some horrendous perimeter defense with steals that high. Teams shoot nearly 49% from the field against the Hawks. Checks out. From point guard to center, there isn't a single starter on this team that I'd prefer over the Pacers starters. Yet we've got a losing record and the Hawks a winning record. NOT FAIR!
Charlotte Hornets - RJ Barrett has turned into a middle of the road wing. Not what you want from creation 1.2, but it's not as bad as I expected. The rest of the team is really quite uninteresting. I guess Shareef O'Neal looks decent. I could see him being a fringe all star big with some development. Everyone else is OK but not exciting. Bunch of role players playing starting minutes on a bad team. How did the Pacers lose to this trash? Ugh.
Chicago Bulls - Sam Perkins was a Pacer irl for a minute. I loved him. Unathletic big dude that shot 3 pt shots flat footed. Oh, and he went to the finals while he was a Pacer. Anyways - he looks pretty good in sim, too. I want to vote Romeo > RJ, but I'm not sure I can get past the TOs and the C- defense. And it's sad, too, because defense is the one thing I'm worried about with him irl. I had a dream a couple of nights ago that Romeo decided to forego college and played in a semi-pro league in Atlanta. It was weird. I don't know why the Bulls became a heebs biographical entry, but so be it.
Cleveland Cavaliers - Sabonis is pretty disappointing to be honest. I guess we just need to de-couple sim and RL. And, looking at Alvin Robertson, we also need to disassociate 4.0 and 5.0. The Cavs ought to get Chuck Chuckovits some more PT. Like maybe all of Alvin's minutes. That dude looks bad. Sorry Shaun.
Detroit Pistons - DE-TROIT BAS-KET-BALL!! Dumptown has a good 1-2 punch with Maye and Moon. The only better M&M combo is the peanut butter M&M. Deal with it, Reeses Pieces! He needs legit bigs and a PG to really be a contender though. Seriously, how are the Pacers so bad?
Indiana Pacers - The sum is worse than its parts I guess. KBD is having a slump after last year's break out season. That's probably got a little to do with the Pacers's poor start. Also Wanzer shouldn't have been a starting PG. Hopefully Cortezzee doesn't drop to B handling again next TC. He will, but I really dislike maintaining a player's eligibility like that.
Milwaukee Bucks - Another team with dominant bigs. This could be an all-time great trio with Ayton, Champ, and Tacko in a couple of years. Champ does need some shot blocking to be elite though. The wings and PG situation is pretty bad though. I wish we had peak activity Trofie that would turn this rough lump of clay into a championship team. He's one of the elite deal makers and with a little effort this team would be great.
Toronto Raptors - Carsen Edwards looks pretty good. Has some TO issues, but other than that he is clearly better than Dump. Miles Bridges is keeping this team out of the trash heap of the Eastern conference though. The good news for [insert Raptors GM] is that they will have a lot of cap space this offseason to play with. No one expiring is worth bringing back on Day 1, so hopefully they hit on a FA to pair with Bridges and Edwards.
The Western Conference
Dallas Mavericks - Cameron and Tillie need help. The bigs are really bad. The only nice thing I can say about them is that Christ can block some shots. Other than that, it's a "douse it with fire and toss a match" type situation. I'd probably start Kayson Williams at PG. Or maybe even Stockston. I don't think Miller is the right choice there. Honestly, with a modest set of bigs this is a playoff caliber team with Kayson Williams at PG. Go get some bigs.
Denver Nuggets - Let's check back in with the Nuggets. Kevin Nash looks pretty good. Not outstanding, but better than I was expecting when I clicked the team link. Jordan looks like he has a very good foundation. He needs a lot of points though. GM Mike needs to write some articles, join a podcast or two, or participate in some round tables. Just do it, Mike!
Houston Rockets - One time I was chatting on XBL with Pete and he was telling me how small his championship window was. After last offseason I would have said he was nuts. Now I think he might have been on to something. Winter is an absolute stud. Harry G - also very nice. Guy Beahm hasn't translated from G League to the big leagues. Jesus Shuttlesworth appears to also be having an off year. I don't really have any advice for Pete. Maybe try Beahm as a #1 scoring option and see if you can maximize his efficiency? I honestly don't know why this team is 10-12.
Minnesota Timberwolves - Good thing Ian paid 3 firsts for Chalky on a max instead of paying 2 firsts for Killie on a 6m deal. WHOOPS! Without his picks, and with his front court retiring in a season or two, I expect the Timberwolves to be open to a new GM around 2005.
Phoenix Suns - Remember when we were discussing how [insert big whose name I've already forgotten] might be the best big in sim? Hello Hakeem! This dude is a monster and will only get better. That's scary. The Suns overall are in a great situation. They need to upgrade McRae's jump shot immediately and they will be a title contender this year. Max, McRae, and Hakeem are as good a 1-3 as there is in the league right now.
San Antonio Spurs - Dear 👨🏼⚕️delapandemic🚑 - rescue Neon. I'm not sure what else to say about this squad. Someone needs to rescue Neon.
Utah Jazz - Bossert and Yante are a great duo. Ankly needs to move Chuck, who deserves a bigger role than third wing, and other assets for a third star. Ulaakees is serviceable, so maybe Ankly needs to move on Neon. I swear, MJ owes me some dump bucks for the last couple of entries. Someone rescue Neon.
Golden State Warriors - Duckworth is an old school D/R big. I always start my observations with the bigs if they are note worthy. Maybe I should scan up the roster instead of down it. I'll try that next. Anyways, the rest of this roster is OK. Okobo and Price look decent. Doncic is overpaid, but not horrible. No one really stands out though. No stars.
Los Angeles Lakers - Ok, so I didn't start with the PGs because I know who I want to discuss. Watford looks great. He's going to be great in Bloomington, so it makes sense he is this good. I wonder what would have been if Watford had been a PF through all of his TCs. He'd be an even better looking prospect blocking close to 1 shot per game. Oh well. Nothing else really outstanding on the Lakers squad. I think they have a ton of picks from their creation draft wheeling and dealing. Looks like it's just Bias so far and nothing else special. Maybe they're in G league.
Portland Trailblazers - Ok Andre Turner. Not bad for a 23 year old PG. I wonder why he's not starting though. Is he a combo guard and therefore not eligible to start? Guido Longfellow has not earned his contract so far this year. That's probably the biggest reason for the difference between last year's playoff Blazers and this year's not gonna make the playoff Blazers. Also, did we clear up the Bonga eligiblity thing? SFs bigger than 6'8" be SG eligible?
Sacramento Kings - BK has done a nice job with this roster. Very good front court, but not in the sense that it is a dominant inside based offense. They just rebound, block shots, and don't turn it over or take bad shots. Impressively solid actually. The only weakness appears to be Braun, who needs to be benched if he doesn't turn this around. There are enough wings in the league that you don't need to start a guy that inefficient.
Seattle Supersonics - Shit, I forgot the Clippers. I'll get them next. Not sure how I skipped them, but I sure did. Anyways. The Sonics. Has there ever been a name more appropriate for a team like this than Sum Ting Wong? Ok. There is no shot blocking. Basically no steals. Too many turnovers. Not enough rebounding. And the FG% is really bad. Can we get a name change to Lot Tings Wong? @odin
Los Angeles Clippers - Another sim league, another Fason dynasty. It's sick how good this team is. Things could change quickly this offseason though. Fason needs to bring back at least McDermott to keep the good times rolling. That said, if he lost McDermott he could probably trade Rui and picks for another star PG and be right back at the top with a little less depth. Grats Fason - really nice looking team.
Vancouver Grizzlies - How good could Barry Obama be he didn't play third fiddle to Stephon and Mikan? If I had one complaint about this team it is that they don't block shots or rebound at an elite rate. That said, it's a solid 1-2 punch of bigs with a great PG. I wonder what would happen if they traded some of their depth for a legit 2, ran an outside offense with scoring options of Barry, [SG TBD], and Templeton. It would cut down on Mikan's TOs and put the ball in Obama's hands more. Just a random observation.
