2039 First Round Mock Draft (brought to you by Pod Save 5.0)
May 30, 2020 1:37:13 GMT
skrouse likes this
Post by TimPig on May 30, 2020 1:37:13 GMT
From the creators of Pod Save 5.0, welcome to the OFFICIAL 2039 TMBSL mock draft.
Muzunga and I took turns on picks, and since I have the larger penis (both flaccid and erect) I got to pick 1.1. From there, we switched back and forth. For those of you keeping track at home, that means that I made all odd picks and Fecta made all even picks.
1. Atlanta Hawks (from Oakland) - Kevin Garnett
Breakdown: KG is the biggest name to come out of this draft IRL, and I think that combined with the promise of potential is going to be too much to pass up at 1.1. The grades may be worrisome to start off based on the write-up, but after a full scout I think there will be enough there combined with 90 or 100 potential to make him the first guy off the board. I predict B- C scoring grades, which are really ugly on their surface, but unavoidable considering the low athletic attributes (inside) and non-existent long range shot (outside). He also fills a need for the Hawks, who are set on the wing for the foreseeable future with Michael Beasley and Buddy Hield.
Predicted Grades: B- C C B B-
2. Charlotte Hornets - Rasheed Wallace
Breakdown: The Hornets front court is getting a little older and there is the potential for Zo to leave during FA. The need is there for a big and Rasheed looks like he could fit the bill. His scouting report is clear he will be able to score and get counting stats on defense, and since he is only 20 he has time to put on some weight. Sources would be shocked if he falls past 2.
Predicted Grades: B- C C B- C+
3. Washington Bullets - Joe Smith
Breakdown: I think the Bullets have a choice between Smith and Stackhouse here, but go with Smith because they still have Dwyane Wade on the wing. Millsap hasn’t improved enough to be a viable starter and without upgrades, he’s not going to get there. Smith should start off with decent enough grades and probably could be really good eventually if he were to ever receive upgrades. Smith’s defense looks really promising, combined with a solid jump shot. He seems like the type of guy who could be elite with +25 inside.
Predicted Grades: B- C+ C B+ C+
4. Vancouver Grizzlies (from Detroit) - Jerry Stackhouse
Breakdown: It’s no secret that the Grizzlies GM is a UNC homer and the thought of getting the player of the year at 4 has been said to give him wet dreams on a nightly basis. Well, dream is over Druce, you got your boy. He will be able to come in right away and make an impact both offensively and defensively. Scouts are split on his ceiling, but I personally think he is going to be a star.
Predicted Grades: B+ C C+ B- C+
5. Vancouver Grizzlies (from Dallas) - Theo Ratliff
Breakdown: I actually am not a huge fan of Fecta’s pick of Stackhouse before this as the Grizz have lots of money tied up in wings already with Austin Carr, Dominique Wilkins, and Sidney Moncrief, who probably returns to Vancouver since his cap hit won’t be able to be used to improve elsewhere. I think the Grizz look really hard at Ratliff, who should be an elite defender and non-shooting big from day one, which is exactly what the Grizz like. They have Artis filling a similar role and high hopes for Kevin Love, but Theo could be the type of third big that they’re looking for and maybe eventually give them the flexibility to deal Artis and open some cap room.
Predicted Grades: C D+ C- B+ C+
6. Chicago Bulls (from Vancouver) - Corliss Williamson
Breakdown: This dude can flat out score, and do it efficiently. He is strong as an ox for a wing and while some scouts are hesitant about him maybe playing the 4, sources have told me that with the Bulls success of moving smaller guys to the 4 that they think they can do the same thing with Corliss. He also takes great care of the ball which is something the Bulls covet.
Predicted Grades: B+ C C C C
7. Chicago Bulls - Cherokee Parks
Breakdown: Parks projects as a player with high offensive upside who can block shots. Rebounding will be a weakness and I could see his profile being read in various ways with regards to handling, so that’ll be a bit of a mystery. Regardless, I think he could end up a poor man’s Embiid if he does end up being efficient and capable of getting blocks. If the turnovers end up being high, this pick could certainly go in a different direction, but with Parks I think you’re looking at a high upside guide if he sees rebounding growth.
Predicted Grades: B C+ C- B- C
8. Charlotte Hornets (from Harlem) - Bryant Reeves
Breakdown: The Hornets go back to the well one more time for a big and this one is REALLY big. While there is some concern about the quality of BBQ in Charlotte and how that will effect Big Country, his deft touch and strength are too much to overlook. He isn't the best rebounder or shot blocker due to athletic limitations, but he is strong enough to be a good post defender and his scoring will offset those weaknesses.
Predicted Grades: B+ C- C- C+ C+
9. Phoenix Suns - Ed O’Bannon
Breakdown: We all hate Ed O’Bannon for what he did to NCAA video games, but his profile reads as a really solid scorer ready to contribute immediately. As such, I see him with very low potential for a rookie, but good grades to start. He has shooting guard eligibility and could come in and provide some scoring punch on the wing for a Phoenix team who needs it. This team is full of holes with Eric Leckner perhaps being the only long-term piece and O’Bannon looks like the BPA.
Predicted Grades: B B- C C C+
10. Orlando Magic (from Miami) - Damon Stoudamire
Breakdown: The Magic are in BPA mode right now and Damon is that guy. They drafted Rose last year but he seems to be a pass first PG that is looking to set his teammates up. Mickey Mouse is all about getting those shots up and getting buckets, he might turn the ball over, but who cares when he drops 30 a game. In an ideal world he would move to the 2 to play along side D.Rose but his lack of size on defense is a concern.
Predicted Grades: C A- C+ C D-
11. Orlando Magic (from Atlanta) - Antonio McDyess
Breakdown: I don't see the Magic taking Stoudamire because they have D-Rose and I don't see either playing SG, but I digress. McDyess will be a project player for a team that is taking the long-term approach to rebuilding. He could be a really frustrating player in the Aaron Gordon mold, and you couldn’t pay most GMs to give that dildo a roster spot. Regardless, McDyess should have some potential to turn into a contributor, which is more than you can usually ask for with the eleventh overall pick. Skrouse strikes me as the type of GM to bank on upside and take a risk on various flaws, and McDyess fits that mold perfectly.
Predicted Grades: B+ D D C+ C+
12. Atlanta Hawks (from San Antonio) - Bob Sura
Breakdown: Michael Finley sucks and Sura is the only non-profile guard with inside as a strength.
Predicted Grades: B- C C C D
13. Portland Trail Blazers - Michael Finley
Breakdown: Finley could end up being a similar player to Michael Cooper. He has a profile that indicates strong defense, a good jump shot, low potential, and perhaps lackluster inside scoring which won’t be as big of a deal because the volume will remain low. He could be a really solid defensive player for a team like Portland that is built around its bigs and will continue to do so as they look forward to Patrick Ewing’s arrival.
Predicted Grades: C+ B- C B C
14. Tri-Cities Blackhawks (from Orlando) - John Amaechi
Breakdown: The Tri-Cites are currently under investigation for discriminatory hiring practices. This investigation took a turn when some of their GM’s snapchats leaked where he was using derogatory language towards a multitude of minorities. Drafting John is the first move in winning the PR battle as he checks off two of those DEI boxes. Ive been told they have actually never seen him play, but he won’t fall past here.
Predicted Grades: D D D D D
15. Tri-Cities Blackhawks - Eric Snow
Breakdown: There aren’t a ton of options here, but I think point guards who do nothing are becoming more and more valuable. There aren’t many elite ones these days, so many teams are just trying to get one that doesn’t hurt you, and Snow projects as such. His volume should be as low as anyone’s and his handling strength should lead to few turnovers.
Predicted Grades: C C A- C D+
Muzunga and I took turns on picks, and since I have the larger penis (both flaccid and erect) I got to pick 1.1. From there, we switched back and forth. For those of you keeping track at home, that means that I made all odd picks and Fecta made all even picks.
1. Atlanta Hawks (from Oakland) - Kevin Garnett
Breakdown: KG is the biggest name to come out of this draft IRL, and I think that combined with the promise of potential is going to be too much to pass up at 1.1. The grades may be worrisome to start off based on the write-up, but after a full scout I think there will be enough there combined with 90 or 100 potential to make him the first guy off the board. I predict B- C scoring grades, which are really ugly on their surface, but unavoidable considering the low athletic attributes (inside) and non-existent long range shot (outside). He also fills a need for the Hawks, who are set on the wing for the foreseeable future with Michael Beasley and Buddy Hield.
Predicted Grades: B- C C B B-
2. Charlotte Hornets - Rasheed Wallace
Breakdown: The Hornets front court is getting a little older and there is the potential for Zo to leave during FA. The need is there for a big and Rasheed looks like he could fit the bill. His scouting report is clear he will be able to score and get counting stats on defense, and since he is only 20 he has time to put on some weight. Sources would be shocked if he falls past 2.
Predicted Grades: B- C C B- C+
3. Washington Bullets - Joe Smith
Breakdown: I think the Bullets have a choice between Smith and Stackhouse here, but go with Smith because they still have Dwyane Wade on the wing. Millsap hasn’t improved enough to be a viable starter and without upgrades, he’s not going to get there. Smith should start off with decent enough grades and probably could be really good eventually if he were to ever receive upgrades. Smith’s defense looks really promising, combined with a solid jump shot. He seems like the type of guy who could be elite with +25 inside.
Predicted Grades: B- C+ C B+ C+
4. Vancouver Grizzlies (from Detroit) - Jerry Stackhouse
Breakdown: It’s no secret that the Grizzlies GM is a UNC homer and the thought of getting the player of the year at 4 has been said to give him wet dreams on a nightly basis. Well, dream is over Druce, you got your boy. He will be able to come in right away and make an impact both offensively and defensively. Scouts are split on his ceiling, but I personally think he is going to be a star.
Predicted Grades: B+ C C+ B- C+
5. Vancouver Grizzlies (from Dallas) - Theo Ratliff
Breakdown: I actually am not a huge fan of Fecta’s pick of Stackhouse before this as the Grizz have lots of money tied up in wings already with Austin Carr, Dominique Wilkins, and Sidney Moncrief, who probably returns to Vancouver since his cap hit won’t be able to be used to improve elsewhere. I think the Grizz look really hard at Ratliff, who should be an elite defender and non-shooting big from day one, which is exactly what the Grizz like. They have Artis filling a similar role and high hopes for Kevin Love, but Theo could be the type of third big that they’re looking for and maybe eventually give them the flexibility to deal Artis and open some cap room.
Predicted Grades: C D+ C- B+ C+
6. Chicago Bulls (from Vancouver) - Corliss Williamson
Breakdown: This dude can flat out score, and do it efficiently. He is strong as an ox for a wing and while some scouts are hesitant about him maybe playing the 4, sources have told me that with the Bulls success of moving smaller guys to the 4 that they think they can do the same thing with Corliss. He also takes great care of the ball which is something the Bulls covet.
Predicted Grades: B+ C C C C
7. Chicago Bulls - Cherokee Parks
Breakdown: Parks projects as a player with high offensive upside who can block shots. Rebounding will be a weakness and I could see his profile being read in various ways with regards to handling, so that’ll be a bit of a mystery. Regardless, I think he could end up a poor man’s Embiid if he does end up being efficient and capable of getting blocks. If the turnovers end up being high, this pick could certainly go in a different direction, but with Parks I think you’re looking at a high upside guide if he sees rebounding growth.
Predicted Grades: B C+ C- B- C
8. Charlotte Hornets (from Harlem) - Bryant Reeves
Breakdown: The Hornets go back to the well one more time for a big and this one is REALLY big. While there is some concern about the quality of BBQ in Charlotte and how that will effect Big Country, his deft touch and strength are too much to overlook. He isn't the best rebounder or shot blocker due to athletic limitations, but he is strong enough to be a good post defender and his scoring will offset those weaknesses.
Predicted Grades: B+ C- C- C+ C+
9. Phoenix Suns - Ed O’Bannon
Breakdown: We all hate Ed O’Bannon for what he did to NCAA video games, but his profile reads as a really solid scorer ready to contribute immediately. As such, I see him with very low potential for a rookie, but good grades to start. He has shooting guard eligibility and could come in and provide some scoring punch on the wing for a Phoenix team who needs it. This team is full of holes with Eric Leckner perhaps being the only long-term piece and O’Bannon looks like the BPA.
Predicted Grades: B B- C C C+
10. Orlando Magic (from Miami) - Damon Stoudamire
Breakdown: The Magic are in BPA mode right now and Damon is that guy. They drafted Rose last year but he seems to be a pass first PG that is looking to set his teammates up. Mickey Mouse is all about getting those shots up and getting buckets, he might turn the ball over, but who cares when he drops 30 a game. In an ideal world he would move to the 2 to play along side D.Rose but his lack of size on defense is a concern.
Predicted Grades: C A- C+ C D-
11. Orlando Magic (from Atlanta) - Antonio McDyess
Breakdown: I don't see the Magic taking Stoudamire because they have D-Rose and I don't see either playing SG, but I digress. McDyess will be a project player for a team that is taking the long-term approach to rebuilding. He could be a really frustrating player in the Aaron Gordon mold, and you couldn’t pay most GMs to give that dildo a roster spot. Regardless, McDyess should have some potential to turn into a contributor, which is more than you can usually ask for with the eleventh overall pick. Skrouse strikes me as the type of GM to bank on upside and take a risk on various flaws, and McDyess fits that mold perfectly.
Predicted Grades: B+ D D C+ C+
12. Atlanta Hawks (from San Antonio) - Bob Sura
Breakdown: Michael Finley sucks and Sura is the only non-profile guard with inside as a strength.
Predicted Grades: B- C C C D
13. Portland Trail Blazers - Michael Finley
Breakdown: Finley could end up being a similar player to Michael Cooper. He has a profile that indicates strong defense, a good jump shot, low potential, and perhaps lackluster inside scoring which won’t be as big of a deal because the volume will remain low. He could be a really solid defensive player for a team like Portland that is built around its bigs and will continue to do so as they look forward to Patrick Ewing’s arrival.
Predicted Grades: C+ B- C B C
14. Tri-Cities Blackhawks (from Orlando) - John Amaechi
Breakdown: The Tri-Cites are currently under investigation for discriminatory hiring practices. This investigation took a turn when some of their GM’s snapchats leaked where he was using derogatory language towards a multitude of minorities. Drafting John is the first move in winning the PR battle as he checks off two of those DEI boxes. Ive been told they have actually never seen him play, but he won’t fall past here.
Predicted Grades: D D D D D
15. Tri-Cities Blackhawks - Eric Snow
Breakdown: There aren’t a ton of options here, but I think point guards who do nothing are becoming more and more valuable. There aren’t many elite ones these days, so many teams are just trying to get one that doesn’t hurt you, and Snow projects as such. His volume should be as low as anyone’s and his handling strength should lead to few turnovers.
Predicted Grades: C C A- C D+
