Post by jhb on May 6, 2020 16:06:19 GMT
So you're BK or someone similarly excited by extremely small sample sizes and you've opened Sim 1 to a whole new world of Sim League where possibilities abound because your players look really good in a 4 game sim played entirely against the Spirits, Zephyrs, and Cavaliers of the world.
I'm here to shit all over your hopes and dreams. Let's go.
Blackhawks/Amigos
- The Sim -1 overreaction from the Blackhawks camp was that Boobie Gibson (7 31.1 17.3 4.0 9.2 1.0 0.2 4.8 .407 .789 .294 1.022 13.2) is "basically Bradley Beal" and "definitely a Top 4 PG next season". I'm going to contradict myself in a "STOP OVERREACTING" article by immediately beginning the article by telling you not to overreact to this stat line. As we can see this dude absolutely sucks. He was a below average scoring guy last season with not much volume. He got +24 into his inside scoring which means he's now at 70 inside scoring, which still isn't great. That's before we get to the fact that he's a turnover machine at PG and is going to be a huge liability trying to rebound at SG. And that's before you consider he plays no defense. Definitely keep putting all your eggs in this basket and derail your Conley/KD window, BK. Tyler Ulis 1 PG 7 17.6 12.9 2.6 7.0 0.6 0.3 0.9 .465 .667 .333 .993 12.2 - this is the next PG after Conley/Cheeks you should be focusing on. Elite assist to turnover ration.
- Blackhawks Adrian Dantley 5 SF 9 30.7 18.5 5.2 2.6 1.0 1.3 0.8 .541 .745 1.000 1.196 16.8 - a guy that averages 0.6 blocks per game is suddenly averaging 1.3 blocks per 36 and that's definitely real and you should count on it *sarcasm detected*
- Blackhawks Maurice Cheeks 3 PG 9 10.7 15.8 2.3 9.4 1.1 0.0 2.3 .545 .800 .400 1.193 16.0 - omg these are elite efficiency numbers what a good PG this is awesome (if you're completely willing to ignore that this is a sample of 33 shots from a guy who also shot .297 from the field in a similar sample last season)
Bullets
- Phil Ford 3 PG 10 11.5 14.7 2.5 10.3 1.3 0.0 2.5 .563 .900 1.000 1.291 16.7 - yes this C B- stud is going to consistently put up 1.291 pts/tsa, count on that
- I know no one has paid attention to Dwight Howard in the last 8 seasons but I think he actually has magically fixed his turnover issues. Second straight season at 2 turnovers per game or less while playing starter's minutes and being the main source of offense. So maybe count on it?
- Bullets Paul Millsap 2 PF 10 26.1 14.3 12.6 1.7 0.8 1.4 2.2 .547 .667 .000 1.162 14.9 or Bullets Bob McAdoo 4 C 10 29.0 14.4 11.9 1.7 0.7 1.7 1.4 .474 .750 .000 1.044 14.7 >>> which one turns into a pumpkin first? Millsap has doubled his blocks and gone up about 10% in field goal percentage. McAdoo still isn't very efficient but his rebounding better than ever and up about 50% on his blocks.
- RIP Ben Simmons's career 10 32.3 10.0 6.0 5.9 1.0 0.2 1.9 .388 .813 .143 .857 9.8 Sim 1 2037-Sim 1 2037
Bulls/Zephyrs
- Tim Breaux 10 SF 6 8.7 13.8 5.5 3.5 1.4 0.0 0.7 .667 1.000 .000 1.453 15.7 - this bitch was one of the worst players in the league last year after finally getting put on the depth chart in Atlanta, no way he keeps this up if he's actually called on to be a consistent part of the rotation
- Christian Laettner 10 PF 6 18.5 23.4 12.3 0.6 0.6 1.6 1.0 .636 .800 .000 1.364 23.0
- no one puts up these scoring numbers over a full season
- Jabari Parker 6 PF 6 39.5 23.1 10.6 2.7 0.5 1.2 1.5 .598 .833 .500 1.344 22.3 - no one puts up these scoring numbers over a full season
- Ivica Zubac C 7 24.0 16.7 10.7 2.8 1.3 0.9 2.6 .517 .692 .000 1.123 15.6 - would be nice but this draft class is too shitty for anyone to actually be this good
Globetrotters/Squires
- Nate Thurmond 14 C 1 7.0 56.6 15.4 10.3 5.1 10.3 10.3 1.000 .600 .000 1.774 62.3 - this is the funniest shit I've ever seen
- Nothing else really jumps out at me here, everybody else is doing about what you would expect, except RIP Bill Russell, only blocking 1.2 per 36...come back to us legendary defender Bill Russell
- Brandon Ingram to the Squires por favor?
Grizzlies/Squires
- Shareef Abdur-Rahim 19 PF 7 19.1 8.6 11.0 1.6 1.1 2.4 2.4 .700 1.000 .000 1.471 12.7 - if his offense had looked even close to this for most of his career he'd be a HOF lock with that defense
- John Havlicek 14 SF 7 21.6 16.5 5.5 1.0 1.2 0.0 1.7 .578 .917 .545 1.372 13.8 - yet another Grizzlies vet who is having a good Sim 1 before he settles back down into mediocrity
- Sidney Moncrief 7 SG 7 31.6 28.0 5.5 5.7 1.1 0.0 1.8 .535 .794 .409 1.212 23.1 - would be really tight if this was the real Moncrief and we couldn't set our watch by this TO number nearly doubling before the end of the year
- Mike Mitchell 3 PF 7 18.7 13.5 11.5 1.1 1.1 0.5 0.8 .553 .714 .400 1.193 14.7 - *not an overreaction warning* HIDDEN GEM ALERT, we don't have enough evidence to disprove that this guy could be somewhat decent as this is his first extended action, although his (1.193 pts/tsa lol) offense is likely to regress a bit at just B- C+ scoring grades, he probably won't ever be a good defender but with some upgrades and further growth this could be a nice third big with some scoring and rebounding chops
- The PGs on this team aren't going to continue to score at such an abysmal rate so that should more than counterbalance the inevitable declines of Shareef and Havlicek
- The Drive didn't play enough games to even draw small sample size conclusions but regardless there probably isn't anything worth talking about here
Hawks/Spirits
- Patrick O'Bryant 2 C 6 33.5 21.9 11.3 2.1 1.4 0.9 2.9 .577 .727 .000 1.253 19.8 - yeah definitely ignore that he sucked ass last season and in pre-season, this is real
- Joel Embiid 6 C 7 32.4 29.3 8.6 2.7 1.4 2.2 1.6 .545 .803 .000 1.233 25.9 - I know you gave him that sweet +3 inside title bonus but he hasn't scored this efficiently since he was a rookie, don't get your hopes up...rebounding is probably real though lmao
- Buddy Hield 1 SG 7 22.9 16.2 6.3 1.6 0.9 0.7 2.5 .472 .938 .538 1.199 12.6 - only thing here you should count on continuing is the turnovers you dumb bitch you gave away a future 1.3 for this guy
- Pascal Siakam 1 PF 7 8.1 13.9 11.4 1.9 1.3 1.3 2.5 .533 .600 .000 1.134 14.0 - yep that guy that had sub 1.000 pts/tsa scoring and was worse in pre-season is definitely going to keep these offensive numbers up (probably the turnovers at least lmao)
- Bradley Beal 12 SG 7 36.1 11.7 4.6 2.3 2.7 1.6 2.1 .386 .889 .222 1.001 11.1 - this will bounce back, right? not every Brad in this league has turned to absolute dogshit, right?
- Armond Hill 5 PG 7 39.6 10.3 3.8 10.9 1.8 0.5 1.8 .405 .933 .385 .980 14.6 - LARRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
Heat/Bobcats
- Darko Milicic 11 PF 2 24.5 25.0 7.3 4.4 0.0 2.9 0.7 .591 .800 .000 1.288 24.3 - you telling me this guy (scoring will decline and turnovers will go up but still) isn't one of your two best bigs?
- Larry Wright 5 PG 6 21.2 12.5 3.4 11.3 0.6 0.3 1.1 .483 1.000 .375 1.267 17.2 - cool cool cool at least we know he'll regress right?
- This roster is a mess with a lot of potential
- Clemon Johnson 3 C 6 21.7 26.3 7.5 4.7 1.7 1.1 0.8 .465 .707 .000 1.067 22.6 - I want so badly for this guy to be good and he's a better scorer and rebounder than what you are seeing here, maybe Darko isn't one of the two best bigs
Hornets
- This entire team shit the bed in Sim 1. You've got one guy in your rotation who was probably scoring at is true talent level in Sim 1 and that was Alonzo Mourning (who should be starting btw). The best part about this entire thing was that you had one guy play above his head on offense (it's really funny and I'll touch on it below). Don't overreact and stay the course, Fecta. Your team isn't this bad. It's bad. But not THIS bad.
- Aaron Gordon 6 PF 4 12.5 28.1 13.0 4.3 0.7 0.0 2.2 .538 .786 .000 1.213 24.9
- While noting that this should not be overreacted to because it WILL improve let's take a moment to enjoy Fecta's Sim 1 misery:
- Theus: .984 pts/tsa
- DJ: .965 pts/tsa
- Brown: .954 pts/tsa
- Haywood: .909 pts/tsa
- Murphy: .861 pts/tsa
- Anthony Davis: .849 pts/tsa
- Walt Williams: .738 pts/tsa
- In summary,
Magic/Nuggets
- Kyle Macy 7 PG 4 35.5 17.2 6.6 10.4 1.8 0.0 1.5 .609 .833 .583 1.398 22.3 - I've had my eyes on him for the longest as a potential cheap backup but 1) no one scores like that for an entire season; 2) no one this side of Magic and maybe now Ben Simmons can rebound like that at PG for a full season; 3) no one in TMBSL has access to the kind of roids that can take a player in his 7th season and have him make this kind of jump. Never gonna happen.
- Will Barton 12 SG 4 19.8 18.7 5.0 1.8 0.5 0.0 0.9 .536 1.000 .667 1.319 15.4 - He can score but he can't score like this for a full season
- Fred Brown 4 PG 4 21.3 20.3 3.8 4.2 2.1 0.4 0.4 .514 .875 .375 1.185 19.0 - Another young PG I had my eye on because of a solid ast/to ratio and somewhat respectable numbers elsewhere, don't see him maintaining this type of scoring but both he and Macy if they can even do some of this could be solid Roy Hamilton/Kendall Marshall/Acie Law type PGs that can not lose games for an otherwise really good team
- Al Horford 13 PF 4 16.5 25.1 13.1 3.8 2.2 4.9 0.0 .412 .944 .333 1.097 28.6 - Excited to watch the first ever 7+ blocks/steals per 36 season in TMBSL history play out pfffffft
- Bill Laimbeer 7 C 4 25.8 15.7 7.0 2.8 1.0 0.3 1.4 .410 .591 .000 .924 11.7 - Bill Laimbeer sucks as a person but his TMBSL counterpart doesn't suck this bad
- Raymond Townsend 3 PG 7 30.1 21.5 3.8 9.4 0.7 0.2 1.2 .467 .929 .250 1.074 19.6 - eye emoji, especially considering it's not that far off his career numbers, eye emoji
- Georgios Papagiannis 1 C 7 26.4 13.4 10.9 1.2 0.8 1.6 2.1 .406 .607 .000 .904 10.9 - insert TMBRickyFowlerface.jpg
Mavericks/Condors
- If there were an award for most intriguing minor league system that wasn't like embarrassing to win because everyone's minor league teams sucks so much anyways then the Mavericks/Condors would easily win this
- Caris LeVert 1 SG 9 25.9 10.2 5.6 2.8 1.2 0.3 1.2 .574 .900 .600 1.284 11.3 - he won't keep doing that on offense and I'm not sure if there's enough left there otherwise to get excited about him, BUT IT MIGHT JUST WORK OUT FOR US
- Andrea Bargnani 2 PF 9 32.2 23.0 7.9 2.4 0.5 1.1 1.6 .490 .923 .467 1.141 18.2 - these are reasonable numbers for him to be putting up with his grades and past production, he's not an elite scorer and his defense is just average but he could be a rotation player (probably not a starter with that very questionable rebounding)
- Maurice Ager 2 SG 9 21.4 12.1 6.0 2.2 0.7 0.4 1.9 .551 1.000 .000 1.207 10.9 - same remarks as LeVert, don't think there is enough here to get invested in but I am saying there's a chance
- Jakob Poeltl 1 C 9 19.8 18.4 11.5 1.4 1.2 0.8 3.0 .487 .882 .000 1.065 14.8 - there's some things to like here, again let's see if it sticks and keep an eye on those TOs (even though I will once again contend they are inflated for people playing on minor league teams)
- Wouldn't it be nice if two light-shooting PGs in Marshall and Smart continued to put up 1.34+ pts/tsa? Also, it would physically pain me to have to rely on my third big being Andre Drummond and having to have him shoot 58% from the field to be a productive member of my rotation. Everything else here looks normal, Wilkins and Bird are looking real good together and Issel won't continue to turn it over so much. This team is salty.
- PLAY THON MAKER COWARD
Oaks
- I have one big overreaction here and that is GOD DAMMIT KUJO GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND PUT AUSTIN CARR AND SHELDEN WILLIAMS THROUGH CAMPS AND IN THE STARTING LINEUP YOU NO GOOD FUCK STOP LETTING GOOD PLAYERS ROT AWAY AND DIE
- Donyell Marshall 15 SF 5 15.6 15.7 9.2 0.9 0.0 0.0 1.8 .476 1.000 .571 1.339 13.3 -
- See, people use that smiley all the time
- Malcolm Brogdon 1 SG 5 28.8 8.8 7.0 3.3 2.3 0.3 1.5 .500 .600 .667 1.087 11.1 - If you squint really hard you might be able to see a very good player here, make sure you don't look back at pre-season stats though
Pistons
- Brad Holland put a stinker of a season on the books throughout the first part of last season before crawling back to respectability by the end of the year. 34.4 10.2 5.9 2.0 1.2 0.4 1.7 .305 .923 .286 .835 7.3 who is excited for round 2 of him on the comeback trail?
- Seeing eternal disappointments Latrell Sprewell and Sleepy Floyd both above 1.25 pts/tsa is hilarious. Don't get your hopes up!
- One thing I think you need to not overreact to is the turnovers, Mike. I don't see Cummings and Erving continuing to average 6 TOs per 36. I think that's a little high. But if they can keep doing everything else they are doing that will be pretty damn solid. Also don't think Oden will be at 1.036 pts/tsa the rest of the year.
- This is another situation similar to the Hornets except I don't even think your team is bad. I just think this is extreme variance to the negative in a small sample. I hope. God I hope.
Spurs
- Rod Strickland 9 PG 3 17.3 8.3 1.4 11.8 3.5 0.0 1.4 .750 .000 .000 1.422 16.9 - Majic look he is so good now
- Nikola Jokic 6 C 8 33.3 25.3 11.6 3.5 1.1 0.3 1.9 .551 .836 1.000 1.237 23.2 - considering this is year 2 of similar production I'd say this isn't overreacting anymore, he's giving me some Jerry Lucas vibes
- Adam Morrison 2 SF 8 32.6 21.2 5.9 2.5 1.7 0.3 2.1 .517 .880 .444 1.176 16.9 - Pointy, I would really love for this to actually be what you're going to get out of him moving forward
- Elfrid Payton isn't going to keep doing that (I think), but if he did that's a solid PG that can not fuck things up
- This team plays absolutely no defense but I think they can put together the storing to be a little salty. Repeat after me pointy, I will start Payton-Barry-Morrison-Lucas-Jokic as 1st and 3rd string (maybe Murray 3rd string at SG and PG) with Shaq off the bench at both frontcourt spots and Miner off the bench in the backcourt and Strickland at backup PG. Inside offense, fast, trap often, no press. Jokic-Jerry-Morrison scoring options. You are welcome.
- Shaquille O'Neal 10 C 8 13.9 25.9 12.6 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.3 .424 .585 .000 .952 18.5 - oof magoof that has to get better
Trail Blazers/Cavaliers
- Malik Beasley 1 SG 8 9.9 15.5 3.6 1.8 0.9 0.0 0.5 .609 1.000 .400 1.373 14.0 - 0% chance he keeps scoring like that but you might have something to work with here if you completely ignore that he sucked ass (at scoring) in preseason and now isn't replicating the somewhat promising defensive numbers he had put up
- James Donaldson 7 C 8 32.6 24.8 12.7 2.3 1.5 1.4 1.2 .624 .596 .000 1.267 24.7 - would be really nice if he could actually put up this offense for a full season then he wouldn't kind of suck
- The Trail Blazers, a case study in impending regression to the mean
- Andrew Wiggins 6 SF 8 28.6 20.1 6.9 3.9 1.4 0.0 1.3 .549 .722 .400 1.198 18.4 - what in the actual fuck is Wiggins fixing to be good in TMBSL (the answer is probably no)
- Dion Waiters 12 SG 6 34.5 20.9 5.4 1.6 2.4 0.2 1.6 .432 .895 .318 1.005 14.8 - he won't actually suck this bad all season
- Alex English 5 SF 8 30.9 17.1 5.1 1.9 0.9 1.5 2.0 .562 .652 .250 1.180 13.7 - this is the Alex English I'd like to fuck with, it's frustrating he's been so inconsistent
- The Cavaliers are the most interesting minor league system other than the Condors in TMBSL
- Duck Williams 3 PG 5 12.4 21.5 4.6 7.0 0.6 0.0 5.8 .560 1.000 .571 1.360 16.0 - there's a lot to unpack here and this looks a lot like what BK was telling everyone Boobie was
- Taurean Prince 1 SF 5 25.8 10.6 7.8 0.6 0.8 0.6 1.4 .583 .588 .000 1.207 10.2 - calling the Rookie Ladder, we may have a live one (probably not though, this class is ass)
- Fred VanVleet 1 PG 5 35.6 15.4 5.7 9.1 0.8 0.0 2.4 .469 .786 .417 1.083 15.5 - there is a lot to like and build on here
- Lamarcus Aldridge 2 PF 5 34.8 18.4 8.5 5.0 0.6 0.6 2.1 .383 .844 .000 .936 14.5 - disgusting
I'm here to shit all over your hopes and dreams. Let's go.
Blackhawks/Amigos
- The Sim -1 overreaction from the Blackhawks camp was that Boobie Gibson (7 31.1 17.3 4.0 9.2 1.0 0.2 4.8 .407 .789 .294 1.022 13.2) is "basically Bradley Beal" and "definitely a Top 4 PG next season". I'm going to contradict myself in a "STOP OVERREACTING" article by immediately beginning the article by telling you not to overreact to this stat line. As we can see this dude absolutely sucks. He was a below average scoring guy last season with not much volume. He got +24 into his inside scoring which means he's now at 70 inside scoring, which still isn't great. That's before we get to the fact that he's a turnover machine at PG and is going to be a huge liability trying to rebound at SG. And that's before you consider he plays no defense. Definitely keep putting all your eggs in this basket and derail your Conley/KD window, BK. Tyler Ulis 1 PG 7 17.6 12.9 2.6 7.0 0.6 0.3 0.9 .465 .667 .333 .993 12.2 - this is the next PG after Conley/Cheeks you should be focusing on. Elite assist to turnover ration.
- Blackhawks Adrian Dantley 5 SF 9 30.7 18.5 5.2 2.6 1.0 1.3 0.8 .541 .745 1.000 1.196 16.8 - a guy that averages 0.6 blocks per game is suddenly averaging 1.3 blocks per 36 and that's definitely real and you should count on it *sarcasm detected*
- Blackhawks Maurice Cheeks 3 PG 9 10.7 15.8 2.3 9.4 1.1 0.0 2.3 .545 .800 .400 1.193 16.0 - omg these are elite efficiency numbers what a good PG this is awesome (if you're completely willing to ignore that this is a sample of 33 shots from a guy who also shot .297 from the field in a similar sample last season)
Bullets
- Phil Ford 3 PG 10 11.5 14.7 2.5 10.3 1.3 0.0 2.5 .563 .900 1.000 1.291 16.7 - yes this C B- stud is going to consistently put up 1.291 pts/tsa, count on that
- I know no one has paid attention to Dwight Howard in the last 8 seasons but I think he actually has magically fixed his turnover issues. Second straight season at 2 turnovers per game or less while playing starter's minutes and being the main source of offense. So maybe count on it?
- Bullets Paul Millsap 2 PF 10 26.1 14.3 12.6 1.7 0.8 1.4 2.2 .547 .667 .000 1.162 14.9 or Bullets Bob McAdoo 4 C 10 29.0 14.4 11.9 1.7 0.7 1.7 1.4 .474 .750 .000 1.044 14.7 >>> which one turns into a pumpkin first? Millsap has doubled his blocks and gone up about 10% in field goal percentage. McAdoo still isn't very efficient but his rebounding better than ever and up about 50% on his blocks.
- RIP Ben Simmons's career 10 32.3 10.0 6.0 5.9 1.0 0.2 1.9 .388 .813 .143 .857 9.8 Sim 1 2037-Sim 1 2037
Bulls/Zephyrs
- Tim Breaux 10 SF 6 8.7 13.8 5.5 3.5 1.4 0.0 0.7 .667 1.000 .000 1.453 15.7 - this bitch was one of the worst players in the league last year after finally getting put on the depth chart in Atlanta, no way he keeps this up if he's actually called on to be a consistent part of the rotation
- Christian Laettner 10 PF 6 18.5 23.4 12.3 0.6 0.6 1.6 1.0 .636 .800 .000 1.364 23.0
- no one puts up these scoring numbers over a full season
- Jabari Parker 6 PF 6 39.5 23.1 10.6 2.7 0.5 1.2 1.5 .598 .833 .500 1.344 22.3 - no one puts up these scoring numbers over a full season
- Ivica Zubac C 7 24.0 16.7 10.7 2.8 1.3 0.9 2.6 .517 .692 .000 1.123 15.6 - would be nice but this draft class is too shitty for anyone to actually be this good
Globetrotters/Squires
- Nate Thurmond 14 C 1 7.0 56.6 15.4 10.3 5.1 10.3 10.3 1.000 .600 .000 1.774 62.3 - this is the funniest shit I've ever seen
- Nothing else really jumps out at me here, everybody else is doing about what you would expect, except RIP Bill Russell, only blocking 1.2 per 36...come back to us legendary defender Bill Russell
- Brandon Ingram to the Squires por favor?
Grizzlies/Squires
- Shareef Abdur-Rahim 19 PF 7 19.1 8.6 11.0 1.6 1.1 2.4 2.4 .700 1.000 .000 1.471 12.7 - if his offense had looked even close to this for most of his career he'd be a HOF lock with that defense
- John Havlicek 14 SF 7 21.6 16.5 5.5 1.0 1.2 0.0 1.7 .578 .917 .545 1.372 13.8 - yet another Grizzlies vet who is having a good Sim 1 before he settles back down into mediocrity
- Sidney Moncrief 7 SG 7 31.6 28.0 5.5 5.7 1.1 0.0 1.8 .535 .794 .409 1.212 23.1 - would be really tight if this was the real Moncrief and we couldn't set our watch by this TO number nearly doubling before the end of the year
- Mike Mitchell 3 PF 7 18.7 13.5 11.5 1.1 1.1 0.5 0.8 .553 .714 .400 1.193 14.7 - *not an overreaction warning* HIDDEN GEM ALERT, we don't have enough evidence to disprove that this guy could be somewhat decent as this is his first extended action, although his (1.193 pts/tsa lol) offense is likely to regress a bit at just B- C+ scoring grades, he probably won't ever be a good defender but with some upgrades and further growth this could be a nice third big with some scoring and rebounding chops
- The PGs on this team aren't going to continue to score at such an abysmal rate so that should more than counterbalance the inevitable declines of Shareef and Havlicek
- The Drive didn't play enough games to even draw small sample size conclusions but regardless there probably isn't anything worth talking about here
Hawks/Spirits
- Patrick O'Bryant 2 C 6 33.5 21.9 11.3 2.1 1.4 0.9 2.9 .577 .727 .000 1.253 19.8 - yeah definitely ignore that he sucked ass last season and in pre-season, this is real
- Joel Embiid 6 C 7 32.4 29.3 8.6 2.7 1.4 2.2 1.6 .545 .803 .000 1.233 25.9 - I know you gave him that sweet +3 inside title bonus but he hasn't scored this efficiently since he was a rookie, don't get your hopes up...rebounding is probably real though lmao
- Buddy Hield 1 SG 7 22.9 16.2 6.3 1.6 0.9 0.7 2.5 .472 .938 .538 1.199 12.6 - only thing here you should count on continuing is the turnovers you dumb bitch you gave away a future 1.3 for this guy
- Pascal Siakam 1 PF 7 8.1 13.9 11.4 1.9 1.3 1.3 2.5 .533 .600 .000 1.134 14.0 - yep that guy that had sub 1.000 pts/tsa scoring and was worse in pre-season is definitely going to keep these offensive numbers up (probably the turnovers at least lmao)
- Bradley Beal 12 SG 7 36.1 11.7 4.6 2.3 2.7 1.6 2.1 .386 .889 .222 1.001 11.1 - this will bounce back, right? not every Brad in this league has turned to absolute dogshit, right?
- Armond Hill 5 PG 7 39.6 10.3 3.8 10.9 1.8 0.5 1.8 .405 .933 .385 .980 14.6 - LARRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
Heat/Bobcats
- Darko Milicic 11 PF 2 24.5 25.0 7.3 4.4 0.0 2.9 0.7 .591 .800 .000 1.288 24.3 - you telling me this guy (scoring will decline and turnovers will go up but still) isn't one of your two best bigs?
- Larry Wright 5 PG 6 21.2 12.5 3.4 11.3 0.6 0.3 1.1 .483 1.000 .375 1.267 17.2 - cool cool cool at least we know he'll regress right?
- This roster is a mess with a lot of potential
- Clemon Johnson 3 C 6 21.7 26.3 7.5 4.7 1.7 1.1 0.8 .465 .707 .000 1.067 22.6 - I want so badly for this guy to be good and he's a better scorer and rebounder than what you are seeing here, maybe Darko isn't one of the two best bigs
Hornets
- This entire team shit the bed in Sim 1. You've got one guy in your rotation who was probably scoring at is true talent level in Sim 1 and that was Alonzo Mourning (who should be starting btw). The best part about this entire thing was that you had one guy play above his head on offense (it's really funny and I'll touch on it below). Don't overreact and stay the course, Fecta. Your team isn't this bad. It's bad. But not THIS bad.
- Aaron Gordon 6 PF 4 12.5 28.1 13.0 4.3 0.7 0.0 2.2 .538 .786 .000 1.213 24.9
- While noting that this should not be overreacted to because it WILL improve let's take a moment to enjoy Fecta's Sim 1 misery:
- Theus: .984 pts/tsa
- DJ: .965 pts/tsa
- Brown: .954 pts/tsa
- Haywood: .909 pts/tsa
- Murphy: .861 pts/tsa
- Anthony Davis: .849 pts/tsa
- Walt Williams: .738 pts/tsa
- In summary,
Magic/Nuggets
- Kyle Macy 7 PG 4 35.5 17.2 6.6 10.4 1.8 0.0 1.5 .609 .833 .583 1.398 22.3 - I've had my eyes on him for the longest as a potential cheap backup but 1) no one scores like that for an entire season; 2) no one this side of Magic and maybe now Ben Simmons can rebound like that at PG for a full season; 3) no one in TMBSL has access to the kind of roids that can take a player in his 7th season and have him make this kind of jump. Never gonna happen.
- Will Barton 12 SG 4 19.8 18.7 5.0 1.8 0.5 0.0 0.9 .536 1.000 .667 1.319 15.4 - He can score but he can't score like this for a full season
- Fred Brown 4 PG 4 21.3 20.3 3.8 4.2 2.1 0.4 0.4 .514 .875 .375 1.185 19.0 - Another young PG I had my eye on because of a solid ast/to ratio and somewhat respectable numbers elsewhere, don't see him maintaining this type of scoring but both he and Macy if they can even do some of this could be solid Roy Hamilton/Kendall Marshall/Acie Law type PGs that can not lose games for an otherwise really good team
- Al Horford 13 PF 4 16.5 25.1 13.1 3.8 2.2 4.9 0.0 .412 .944 .333 1.097 28.6 - Excited to watch the first ever 7+ blocks/steals per 36 season in TMBSL history play out pfffffft
- Bill Laimbeer 7 C 4 25.8 15.7 7.0 2.8 1.0 0.3 1.4 .410 .591 .000 .924 11.7 - Bill Laimbeer sucks as a person but his TMBSL counterpart doesn't suck this bad
- Raymond Townsend 3 PG 7 30.1 21.5 3.8 9.4 0.7 0.2 1.2 .467 .929 .250 1.074 19.6 - eye emoji, especially considering it's not that far off his career numbers, eye emoji
- Georgios Papagiannis 1 C 7 26.4 13.4 10.9 1.2 0.8 1.6 2.1 .406 .607 .000 .904 10.9 - insert TMBRickyFowlerface.jpg
Mavericks/Condors
- If there were an award for most intriguing minor league system that wasn't like embarrassing to win because everyone's minor league teams sucks so much anyways then the Mavericks/Condors would easily win this
- Caris LeVert 1 SG 9 25.9 10.2 5.6 2.8 1.2 0.3 1.2 .574 .900 .600 1.284 11.3 - he won't keep doing that on offense and I'm not sure if there's enough left there otherwise to get excited about him, BUT IT MIGHT JUST WORK OUT FOR US
- Andrea Bargnani 2 PF 9 32.2 23.0 7.9 2.4 0.5 1.1 1.6 .490 .923 .467 1.141 18.2 - these are reasonable numbers for him to be putting up with his grades and past production, he's not an elite scorer and his defense is just average but he could be a rotation player (probably not a starter with that very questionable rebounding)
- Maurice Ager 2 SG 9 21.4 12.1 6.0 2.2 0.7 0.4 1.9 .551 1.000 .000 1.207 10.9 - same remarks as LeVert, don't think there is enough here to get invested in but I am saying there's a chance
- Jakob Poeltl 1 C 9 19.8 18.4 11.5 1.4 1.2 0.8 3.0 .487 .882 .000 1.065 14.8 - there's some things to like here, again let's see if it sticks and keep an eye on those TOs (even though I will once again contend they are inflated for people playing on minor league teams)
- Wouldn't it be nice if two light-shooting PGs in Marshall and Smart continued to put up 1.34+ pts/tsa? Also, it would physically pain me to have to rely on my third big being Andre Drummond and having to have him shoot 58% from the field to be a productive member of my rotation. Everything else here looks normal, Wilkins and Bird are looking real good together and Issel won't continue to turn it over so much. This team is salty.
- PLAY THON MAKER COWARD
Oaks
- I have one big overreaction here and that is GOD DAMMIT KUJO GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND PUT AUSTIN CARR AND SHELDEN WILLIAMS THROUGH CAMPS AND IN THE STARTING LINEUP YOU NO GOOD FUCK STOP LETTING GOOD PLAYERS ROT AWAY AND DIE
- Donyell Marshall 15 SF 5 15.6 15.7 9.2 0.9 0.0 0.0 1.8 .476 1.000 .571 1.339 13.3 -
- See, people use that smiley all the time
- Malcolm Brogdon 1 SG 5 28.8 8.8 7.0 3.3 2.3 0.3 1.5 .500 .600 .667 1.087 11.1 - If you squint really hard you might be able to see a very good player here, make sure you don't look back at pre-season stats though
Pistons
- Brad Holland put a stinker of a season on the books throughout the first part of last season before crawling back to respectability by the end of the year. 34.4 10.2 5.9 2.0 1.2 0.4 1.7 .305 .923 .286 .835 7.3 who is excited for round 2 of him on the comeback trail?
- Seeing eternal disappointments Latrell Sprewell and Sleepy Floyd both above 1.25 pts/tsa is hilarious. Don't get your hopes up!
- One thing I think you need to not overreact to is the turnovers, Mike. I don't see Cummings and Erving continuing to average 6 TOs per 36. I think that's a little high. But if they can keep doing everything else they are doing that will be pretty damn solid. Also don't think Oden will be at 1.036 pts/tsa the rest of the year.
- This is another situation similar to the Hornets except I don't even think your team is bad. I just think this is extreme variance to the negative in a small sample. I hope. God I hope.
Spurs
- Rod Strickland 9 PG 3 17.3 8.3 1.4 11.8 3.5 0.0 1.4 .750 .000 .000 1.422 16.9 - Majic look he is so good now
- Nikola Jokic 6 C 8 33.3 25.3 11.6 3.5 1.1 0.3 1.9 .551 .836 1.000 1.237 23.2 - considering this is year 2 of similar production I'd say this isn't overreacting anymore, he's giving me some Jerry Lucas vibes
- Adam Morrison 2 SF 8 32.6 21.2 5.9 2.5 1.7 0.3 2.1 .517 .880 .444 1.176 16.9 - Pointy, I would really love for this to actually be what you're going to get out of him moving forward
- Elfrid Payton isn't going to keep doing that (I think), but if he did that's a solid PG that can not fuck things up
- This team plays absolutely no defense but I think they can put together the storing to be a little salty. Repeat after me pointy, I will start Payton-Barry-Morrison-Lucas-Jokic as 1st and 3rd string (maybe Murray 3rd string at SG and PG) with Shaq off the bench at both frontcourt spots and Miner off the bench in the backcourt and Strickland at backup PG. Inside offense, fast, trap often, no press. Jokic-Jerry-Morrison scoring options. You are welcome.
- Shaquille O'Neal 10 C 8 13.9 25.9 12.6 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.3 .424 .585 .000 .952 18.5 - oof magoof that has to get better
Trail Blazers/Cavaliers
- Malik Beasley 1 SG 8 9.9 15.5 3.6 1.8 0.9 0.0 0.5 .609 1.000 .400 1.373 14.0 - 0% chance he keeps scoring like that but you might have something to work with here if you completely ignore that he sucked ass (at scoring) in preseason and now isn't replicating the somewhat promising defensive numbers he had put up
- James Donaldson 7 C 8 32.6 24.8 12.7 2.3 1.5 1.4 1.2 .624 .596 .000 1.267 24.7 - would be really nice if he could actually put up this offense for a full season then he wouldn't kind of suck
- The Trail Blazers, a case study in impending regression to the mean
- Andrew Wiggins 6 SF 8 28.6 20.1 6.9 3.9 1.4 0.0 1.3 .549 .722 .400 1.198 18.4 - what in the actual fuck is Wiggins fixing to be good in TMBSL (the answer is probably no)
- Dion Waiters 12 SG 6 34.5 20.9 5.4 1.6 2.4 0.2 1.6 .432 .895 .318 1.005 14.8 - he won't actually suck this bad all season
- Alex English 5 SF 8 30.9 17.1 5.1 1.9 0.9 1.5 2.0 .562 .652 .250 1.180 13.7 - this is the Alex English I'd like to fuck with, it's frustrating he's been so inconsistent
- The Cavaliers are the most interesting minor league system other than the Condors in TMBSL
- Duck Williams 3 PG 5 12.4 21.5 4.6 7.0 0.6 0.0 5.8 .560 1.000 .571 1.360 16.0 - there's a lot to unpack here and this looks a lot like what BK was telling everyone Boobie was
- Taurean Prince 1 SF 5 25.8 10.6 7.8 0.6 0.8 0.6 1.4 .583 .588 .000 1.207 10.2 - calling the Rookie Ladder, we may have a live one (probably not though, this class is ass)
- Fred VanVleet 1 PG 5 35.6 15.4 5.7 9.1 0.8 0.0 2.4 .469 .786 .417 1.083 15.5 - there is a lot to like and build on here
- Lamarcus Aldridge 2 PF 5 34.8 18.4 8.5 5.0 0.6 0.6 2.1 .383 .844 .000 .936 14.5 - disgusting
