Post by Druce on Apr 2, 2020 15:16:37 GMT
Recently Netflix released the Tiger King docuseries which explores the underbelly of the big cat/independent zoo world. The series is absolutely insane, fascinating and downright unbelieveable at times. This article compares and contrasts members of TMBSL with the major players of Tiger King.
Joe Exotic – Druce – A lot of parallels here. Druce can be an attention whore. This guy loves attention and when he’s in, he’s all in and when he’s out he’s going to air out everyone’s dirty laundry because fuck it. One of the OGs on the scene he’s made plenty of enemies in his time being waist deep in the game. The faces around him change but he’s a steady presence. One to skirt the rules and try to get shit done in spite of whatever law enforcement exists. Even tried to run things for a while albeit with varying degrees of success. Wears his emotions on his sleeve and it can be easy to get under his skin. Once you’re on his bad side it’s hard to get out.
John Finlay – majic – Joe gave John drugs, Druce gave Majic rings. I’d imagine John gave Joe a bit more than I get from Majic (nothing) but that’s ok. Having a side kick is never a bad thing. The main difference between Majic and Toothless John is that eventually John found himself wanting something Joe couldn’t provide, while Majic is still suckling at the power teet of advice that is my brain. Little does Majic know I’ve been sabotaging him for weeks before I came back, anticipating my very own return. As Joe Exotic would say, I ain’t dumb. Perhaps sometime soon Majic will find his very own gift shop cashier to take home to Portland.
Doc Antle – jhb – On the surface this guy looks to be above the fray and puts out at least a decently clean image. Then people remember that his friend got in the game just for his personal benefit and you realize there is definitely something scummy bubbling under the surface. He’ll help out others and have their back but there’s no mistaking he’s looking out for number one. Very convincing in regards to the younger GMs trusting him and joining his harem. Very active and successful in the community he’s definitely made his mark. Ultimately does a very good job staying neutral in most confrontation and plays his hand well. Unconfirmed reports multiple women helped him move recently, makes you wonder.
Carole Baskin – skrouse – Skrouse was recently seen murdering a member of the league on the board. The connection between that and Carole Baskin? Nothing, absolutely nothing. The Magic are a Florida tourist trap with employees taking below market pay to work there. Does this sound familiar? Hmm? Dan Majerle? Walt Williams? Skrouse is often on internet broadcasts by himself talking to seemingly no one for hours, hey all you cool cats and kittens, you may think that skrouse is a good person but it’s all smoke and mirrors. Once you dig up his septic tank you’re realize it’s full of more than shit. The Magic claim to rescue players from the grips of the Druces and JHBs and Timpig of the world but don’t get it twisted, life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows in Florida.
Jeff Lowe – timpig – This guy doesn’t really even hide that he’s a scumbag. He’s made many enemies and you might even call him a confidence man. He’s met and gained the trust of several GMs which makes you wonder what tricks he’s pulling behind their backs. Famously got a few GMs drunk and recorded their conversation, only to turn it over to the feds while remaining clean himself. He came in late to the game and was drawn in by big lights and promises of stars. Now he’s hooked. He got himself a taste of the big cats, Nique and Bron, and now wants to build them statues. Seen by the league as wealthy, he’s got a monopoly on league revenue generation by doing every job feasible for the league. Is there anyone left who actually trusts this guy?
Allen Glover – fecta – The right hand man of the scumbag Jeff Lowe here we have fecta. Glover was a co-conspirator in setting up Joe Exotic but we all know who is pulling the strings in this plan. Fecta was famously part of a podcast called “Pod Save 4.0” and later re-branded “Pod Save 5.0” just like Jeff Lowe and Allen Glover came in and attempted to “save” GW Zoo. The motive in both was clear: financial gain. Glover however never tasted the sweet success that Fecta lucked into, so he’s got that going for him. Glover famously ignored an agreement to murder that bitch Carole Baskin in order to snort blow off of a strippers asshole in Georgia. Similarly Fecta ignored an invitiation to get sushi and have drinks with pals and instead jerked off in the shower and went to bed. What a shame.
Rick Kirkham – bill – Rick Kirkham was addicted to crack for 25 years, BK has made 25 alt accounts. These two are in the upper echelon of intelligence in their respective crews, and are very calculated in what they do a lot of the time. They both claim to have gotten completely fucked over by those in charge, Kirkham’s footage a victim of arson, BK’s team a victim of eric. One of those claims is an accepted though not proven truth, the other a wild conspiracy theory. Could I see BK burning down his own residence as an insurance fraud scheme and moving to Norway? Yes, yes I could in fact I’d almost call it likely. By the time he’s done with all his schooling he could use all his degrees as kindling. Though there was no footage provided I can only imagine Kirkham flipping the fuck out and going off the deep end, similar to BK’s behavior in plenty of mafia games. If they met at a coffee shop I could see these two becoming fast friends, with Kirkham taking BK under his wing and guiding his madness.
Don Lewis – newguy – Newguy has been swallowed by the warehouse hours, Lewis’ body is Tiger shit fertilizing flowers. “If I can pull this off it will be the slickest thing I ever did” famous words by Jeezy when he rejoined as “newguy” or wait was that Don Lewis before piloting his plane to Costa Rica? The world may never know, and it appears the sim world may never hear from Newguy again, unless he gets enough nutrients for his perennial to bloom in the form of a new identity when the pandemic is over.
James Garretson – odin – Seemingly has information on everyone. This is most likely due to having been a part of free agent negotiations in the past and literally running everything. I wouldn’t put it past Odin to purchase and keep a lemur as a pet and also take leisurely cruises on a jet ski. Odin also formerly had luscious flowing locks. Physically Garretson is a short chubby man while Odin is very tall and relatively slender now days I believe which is their biggest difference. Most everything else we see Garretson doing in the show I could see Odin doing including owning a random store in a rural area that sells a variety of different stuff. Garretson strikes me as a gamer which we all know Odin is as well. I’d love to be a fly on the wall if these two actually ever met.
Kelci Saffery -- delap – One might consider delap to be a moral compass in a sea of scumbags, and that is what Saff was. Delap cares about the league, he cares about the well being of players, and he’s not seeking personal attention or recognition. Had his shining moment winning a title a while back, and while Saff’s “shining moment” was having half her(his?) arm ripped off by a tiger part of me speculates that he (she?) was at least feeling partially responsible for the tiger’s actions. I can see delap taking the same position if he was injured working with a big cat. The main difference between them lies by way of smarts. Saff is street smart that much can’t be argued, but we’re unsure of how book smart Saff is. Delap on the other hand there is no question he’s intelligent and can navigate intellectual competition.
John Reinke – ward – We don’t know a ton about Ward, even though he’s been around longer than pretty much anyone. He’s unassuming and occasionally chats with the collective but mostly keeps to himself. At worst a league neutral non-polarizing figure in a place where seemingly everyone makes you love or hate them, more often the latter. Ward goes about his business and after all this is over he’ll go back to his normal life of riding around in his 3 wheeled vehicle with Seminole greats airbrushed on the hood. If ward had his legs taken from him in an unfortunate ziplining accident there is no question that Charlie Ward and Warrick Dunn would be painted on his prosthetics. While I don’t envision ward eating bologna sandwiches and living in a trailer, I literally know little to nothing about him personally despite being involved in sim with him for nearly a decade. Is he even black?
Joshua Dial – eric – Eric is a steady reasonable presence in the league. He brings some order and generally has a good head on his shoulders. He’s observant and while the cast of characters he interacts with may not be what he’d choose if given ultimate authority to do so, he makes due with what he has. Things that happen or are said in the league more than likely shock eric to the core and make him question his very being but at the end of the day he’s doing what he loves and that’s what fuels him. One day eric may look back on all of this as a dark period in his life when he interacted with a bunch of delinquents but I think when he looks back he’ll have a certain fondness for those memories. He’s most likely taken aback nearly every day by some of the stupidity and outrageousness surrounding him, but these are his people and damn it does he at least respect them.
Travis Maldonado – kn – All impressions are Kn is a solid all around guy, if not a mis guided youth. The lure of Dwight Howard and Dwyane Wade are too much for him to walk away, even though he might want to. Does he love the league? Maybe, maybe not, but he damn sure loves the players. Did Travis love Joe? Maybe, most likely not, but he damn sure loved meth and for that he sure as shit wasn’t leaving the park. For some reason I can also see kn riding around on a four wheeler pointing guns at any and everyone. Lets just hope he knows that the gun does indeed fire even without a magazine in it.
Mario Tabraue – mike – Is Mike our most eccentric GM? No. Could he potentially be the most interesting? Certainly. Mike is a DJ in South America which almost assuredly means he’s dealt in the drug trade in his past. Has Mike ever murdered anyone? Well, if we’re talking sim league career then the answer may be a resounding “yes.” Mike has chopped up many sim-bodies and maybe even real ones, we don’t know. Mike calls into podcasts on a satellite phone. Why does he own one? You tell me. Mike seemingly came out of nowhere to join the league similar to Mario in this docuseries.
Erik Cowie – kujo – What do we know about kujo other than he’s a part of the league? Not much. Everything beyond this point is speculation. I think this guy might be dating fecta’s sister? Pops in every once in a while to do what he needs to do and that’s about it. Cowie is a bit of a tragic figure late in the doc as he’s interviewed while obviously strung out but other than that he doesn’t really add much. I guess kujo’s sim diet of players is similar to Cowie’s former real life diet of expired meat from Walmart.
Dillon Passage – dcdavo – Dillon and Davo are both new guys on the scene, oddly enough just a few weeks after some unfortunate circumstances (Travis dying, wheel modification suggestion). Coincidental? I think not. The difference between Dillon and Joe’s past husbands is that he seems like he might actually be gay? The difference between Davo and our other recent additions is…………………. Dillon seems to be sticking with Joe despite his incarceration, will the same be said for Davo once we are back to our normal lives? That remains to be seen.
Bonus Photo:
Joe Exotic – Druce – A lot of parallels here. Druce can be an attention whore. This guy loves attention and when he’s in, he’s all in and when he’s out he’s going to air out everyone’s dirty laundry because fuck it. One of the OGs on the scene he’s made plenty of enemies in his time being waist deep in the game. The faces around him change but he’s a steady presence. One to skirt the rules and try to get shit done in spite of whatever law enforcement exists. Even tried to run things for a while albeit with varying degrees of success. Wears his emotions on his sleeve and it can be easy to get under his skin. Once you’re on his bad side it’s hard to get out.
John Finlay – majic – Joe gave John drugs, Druce gave Majic rings. I’d imagine John gave Joe a bit more than I get from Majic (nothing) but that’s ok. Having a side kick is never a bad thing. The main difference between Majic and Toothless John is that eventually John found himself wanting something Joe couldn’t provide, while Majic is still suckling at the power teet of advice that is my brain. Little does Majic know I’ve been sabotaging him for weeks before I came back, anticipating my very own return. As Joe Exotic would say, I ain’t dumb. Perhaps sometime soon Majic will find his very own gift shop cashier to take home to Portland.
Doc Antle – jhb – On the surface this guy looks to be above the fray and puts out at least a decently clean image. Then people remember that his friend got in the game just for his personal benefit and you realize there is definitely something scummy bubbling under the surface. He’ll help out others and have their back but there’s no mistaking he’s looking out for number one. Very convincing in regards to the younger GMs trusting him and joining his harem. Very active and successful in the community he’s definitely made his mark. Ultimately does a very good job staying neutral in most confrontation and plays his hand well. Unconfirmed reports multiple women helped him move recently, makes you wonder.
Carole Baskin – skrouse – Skrouse was recently seen murdering a member of the league on the board. The connection between that and Carole Baskin? Nothing, absolutely nothing. The Magic are a Florida tourist trap with employees taking below market pay to work there. Does this sound familiar? Hmm? Dan Majerle? Walt Williams? Skrouse is often on internet broadcasts by himself talking to seemingly no one for hours, hey all you cool cats and kittens, you may think that skrouse is a good person but it’s all smoke and mirrors. Once you dig up his septic tank you’re realize it’s full of more than shit. The Magic claim to rescue players from the grips of the Druces and JHBs and Timpig of the world but don’t get it twisted, life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows in Florida.
Jeff Lowe – timpig – This guy doesn’t really even hide that he’s a scumbag. He’s made many enemies and you might even call him a confidence man. He’s met and gained the trust of several GMs which makes you wonder what tricks he’s pulling behind their backs. Famously got a few GMs drunk and recorded their conversation, only to turn it over to the feds while remaining clean himself. He came in late to the game and was drawn in by big lights and promises of stars. Now he’s hooked. He got himself a taste of the big cats, Nique and Bron, and now wants to build them statues. Seen by the league as wealthy, he’s got a monopoly on league revenue generation by doing every job feasible for the league. Is there anyone left who actually trusts this guy?
Allen Glover – fecta – The right hand man of the scumbag Jeff Lowe here we have fecta. Glover was a co-conspirator in setting up Joe Exotic but we all know who is pulling the strings in this plan. Fecta was famously part of a podcast called “Pod Save 4.0” and later re-branded “Pod Save 5.0” just like Jeff Lowe and Allen Glover came in and attempted to “save” GW Zoo. The motive in both was clear: financial gain. Glover however never tasted the sweet success that Fecta lucked into, so he’s got that going for him. Glover famously ignored an agreement to murder that bitch Carole Baskin in order to snort blow off of a strippers asshole in Georgia. Similarly Fecta ignored an invitiation to get sushi and have drinks with pals and instead jerked off in the shower and went to bed. What a shame.
Rick Kirkham – bill – Rick Kirkham was addicted to crack for 25 years, BK has made 25 alt accounts. These two are in the upper echelon of intelligence in their respective crews, and are very calculated in what they do a lot of the time. They both claim to have gotten completely fucked over by those in charge, Kirkham’s footage a victim of arson, BK’s team a victim of eric. One of those claims is an accepted though not proven truth, the other a wild conspiracy theory. Could I see BK burning down his own residence as an insurance fraud scheme and moving to Norway? Yes, yes I could in fact I’d almost call it likely. By the time he’s done with all his schooling he could use all his degrees as kindling. Though there was no footage provided I can only imagine Kirkham flipping the fuck out and going off the deep end, similar to BK’s behavior in plenty of mafia games. If they met at a coffee shop I could see these two becoming fast friends, with Kirkham taking BK under his wing and guiding his madness.
Don Lewis – newguy – Newguy has been swallowed by the warehouse hours, Lewis’ body is Tiger shit fertilizing flowers. “If I can pull this off it will be the slickest thing I ever did” famous words by Jeezy when he rejoined as “newguy” or wait was that Don Lewis before piloting his plane to Costa Rica? The world may never know, and it appears the sim world may never hear from Newguy again, unless he gets enough nutrients for his perennial to bloom in the form of a new identity when the pandemic is over.
James Garretson – odin – Seemingly has information on everyone. This is most likely due to having been a part of free agent negotiations in the past and literally running everything. I wouldn’t put it past Odin to purchase and keep a lemur as a pet and also take leisurely cruises on a jet ski. Odin also formerly had luscious flowing locks. Physically Garretson is a short chubby man while Odin is very tall and relatively slender now days I believe which is their biggest difference. Most everything else we see Garretson doing in the show I could see Odin doing including owning a random store in a rural area that sells a variety of different stuff. Garretson strikes me as a gamer which we all know Odin is as well. I’d love to be a fly on the wall if these two actually ever met.
Kelci Saffery -- delap – One might consider delap to be a moral compass in a sea of scumbags, and that is what Saff was. Delap cares about the league, he cares about the well being of players, and he’s not seeking personal attention or recognition. Had his shining moment winning a title a while back, and while Saff’s “shining moment” was having half her(his?) arm ripped off by a tiger part of me speculates that he (she?) was at least feeling partially responsible for the tiger’s actions. I can see delap taking the same position if he was injured working with a big cat. The main difference between them lies by way of smarts. Saff is street smart that much can’t be argued, but we’re unsure of how book smart Saff is. Delap on the other hand there is no question he’s intelligent and can navigate intellectual competition.
John Reinke – ward – We don’t know a ton about Ward, even though he’s been around longer than pretty much anyone. He’s unassuming and occasionally chats with the collective but mostly keeps to himself. At worst a league neutral non-polarizing figure in a place where seemingly everyone makes you love or hate them, more often the latter. Ward goes about his business and after all this is over he’ll go back to his normal life of riding around in his 3 wheeled vehicle with Seminole greats airbrushed on the hood. If ward had his legs taken from him in an unfortunate ziplining accident there is no question that Charlie Ward and Warrick Dunn would be painted on his prosthetics. While I don’t envision ward eating bologna sandwiches and living in a trailer, I literally know little to nothing about him personally despite being involved in sim with him for nearly a decade. Is he even black?
Joshua Dial – eric – Eric is a steady reasonable presence in the league. He brings some order and generally has a good head on his shoulders. He’s observant and while the cast of characters he interacts with may not be what he’d choose if given ultimate authority to do so, he makes due with what he has. Things that happen or are said in the league more than likely shock eric to the core and make him question his very being but at the end of the day he’s doing what he loves and that’s what fuels him. One day eric may look back on all of this as a dark period in his life when he interacted with a bunch of delinquents but I think when he looks back he’ll have a certain fondness for those memories. He’s most likely taken aback nearly every day by some of the stupidity and outrageousness surrounding him, but these are his people and damn it does he at least respect them.
Travis Maldonado – kn – All impressions are Kn is a solid all around guy, if not a mis guided youth. The lure of Dwight Howard and Dwyane Wade are too much for him to walk away, even though he might want to. Does he love the league? Maybe, maybe not, but he damn sure loves the players. Did Travis love Joe? Maybe, most likely not, but he damn sure loved meth and for that he sure as shit wasn’t leaving the park. For some reason I can also see kn riding around on a four wheeler pointing guns at any and everyone. Lets just hope he knows that the gun does indeed fire even without a magazine in it.
Mario Tabraue – mike – Is Mike our most eccentric GM? No. Could he potentially be the most interesting? Certainly. Mike is a DJ in South America which almost assuredly means he’s dealt in the drug trade in his past. Has Mike ever murdered anyone? Well, if we’re talking sim league career then the answer may be a resounding “yes.” Mike has chopped up many sim-bodies and maybe even real ones, we don’t know. Mike calls into podcasts on a satellite phone. Why does he own one? You tell me. Mike seemingly came out of nowhere to join the league similar to Mario in this docuseries.
Erik Cowie – kujo – What do we know about kujo other than he’s a part of the league? Not much. Everything beyond this point is speculation. I think this guy might be dating fecta’s sister? Pops in every once in a while to do what he needs to do and that’s about it. Cowie is a bit of a tragic figure late in the doc as he’s interviewed while obviously strung out but other than that he doesn’t really add much. I guess kujo’s sim diet of players is similar to Cowie’s former real life diet of expired meat from Walmart.
Dillon Passage – dcdavo – Dillon and Davo are both new guys on the scene, oddly enough just a few weeks after some unfortunate circumstances (Travis dying, wheel modification suggestion). Coincidental? I think not. The difference between Dillon and Joe’s past husbands is that he seems like he might actually be gay? The difference between Davo and our other recent additions is…………………. Dillon seems to be sticking with Joe despite his incarceration, will the same be said for Davo once we are back to our normal lives? That remains to be seen.
Bonus Photo:
