SCANDAL! Kyrie Rises From the Dead!
Jan 18, 2020 21:35:21 GMT
TimPig and 👨🏼⚕️delapandemic🚑 like this
Post by eric on Jan 18, 2020 21:35:21 GMT
DATELINE - DALLAS, Texas, January 18
After recording a career low two Player of the Week awardses and finishing behind Oscar Robertson for the first time in his career last season, many expected erstwhile Most Valuable Player Kyrie Irving to retire rather than face the ignominy of the Wizards-era Michael Jordan, the Supersonics-era Neon Boudeaux, the Bulls-era Jock Landale. Gallup polling confirmed with 99.7% confidence intervals that literally no one in these United States believed he would bounce back this season.
If you ask this reporter it looks like they forgot how Dallas Mavericks General Manager Delap throws monkey wrenches into that kind of ointment.
Unsubstantiated rumors that we're going to print anyway hint that Mr. Irving may or may not have but incontrovertibly did undergo illegal and possibly profane and diabolic treatments in Germany, a country we are told is in Europe, far from the watchful gaze of THE Food and Drug Administration and perhaps even the long reach of the LORD GOD. There can be no doubt that the path of the righteous [consults notes] man is beset on all sides by the inequities of these Westron devils.
A day may come when the courage in the East fails, when the unblinking gaze no longer caresses us from that steeple of delights in Barad-dûr, an hour of the Dread Lord James son of Jack, and wolves, and bags, and tags, and shaken spears, and splintered shields, a sword day, and so forth on that day to other accoutrements de guerre, i.e. (by which we mean that is to say) other accouterments of war, in any event a red day, whatever the cost may be, no matter what, no matter where, ever, whether on the beaches, on the landing grounds, in the fields and in the streets, on the hills, on the red hills of Georgia, at a table of brotherhood, we will not go quietly into the night, we celebrate one small step for [continues consulting notes] man, one giant leap for sim kind!
Dictated, not read.
HEADLINE
Rumors Swirl Around Fort Worth Area Basketball Star
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After recording a career low two Player of the Week awardses and finishing behind Oscar Robertson for the first time in his career last season, many expected erstwhile Most Valuable Player Kyrie Irving to retire rather than face the ignominy of the Wizards-era Michael Jordan, the Supersonics-era Neon Boudeaux, the Bulls-era Jock Landale. Gallup polling confirmed with 99.7% confidence intervals that literally no one in these United States believed he would bounce back this season.
If you ask this reporter it looks like they forgot how Dallas Mavericks General Manager Delap throws monkey wrenches into that kind of ointment.
Unsubstantiated rumors that we're going to print anyway hint that Mr. Irving may or may not have but incontrovertibly did undergo illegal and possibly profane and diabolic treatments in Germany, a country we are told is in Europe, far from the watchful gaze of THE Food and Drug Administration and perhaps even the long reach of the LORD GOD. There can be no doubt that the path of the righteous [consults notes] man is beset on all sides by the inequities of these Westron devils.
A day may come when the courage in the East fails, when the unblinking gaze no longer caresses us from that steeple of delights in Barad-dûr, an hour of the Dread Lord James son of Jack, and wolves, and bags, and tags, and shaken spears, and splintered shields, a sword day, and so forth on that day to other accoutrements de guerre, i.e. (by which we mean that is to say) other accouterments of war, in any event a red day, whatever the cost may be, no matter what, no matter where, ever, whether on the beaches, on the landing grounds, in the fields and in the streets, on the hills, on the red hills of Georgia, at a table of brotherhood, we will not go quietly into the night, we celebrate one small step for [continues consulting notes] man, one giant leap for sim kind!
Dictated, not read.