Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2019 14:57:24 GMT
BK’s 1st Annual GMMMA - ROUND ONE
Welcome, tectonic & Gentlemen, to BK’s 1st Annual General Manager Mixed Martial Arts (GMMMA) premiere tournament event! This is where we figure out who is the best GM not by having our teams play each other -- but by fighting to the death.
The seeds are randomized, and this is a single elimination deathmatch to crown one true champion! Who will win the Kina Cup?! Let’s meet our contestants:
Timpig Majic
Kujo JHB
Fecta skrouse
Ward delap
Kn88 Mike
BK Odin
Kujo JHB
Fecta skrouse
Ward delap
Kn88 Mike
BK Odin
ROUND 1: TIMPIG VS KUJO
Weighing in at the same amount JHB has lost, with a height of not enough, in the left corner, we have: TIMMMMPIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGG
Weighing in at ?????? with a height of ??????, in the right corner we have: KUUUUUUUUUJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DING DING DING DING!
Timpig instinctively goes into a crouching tiger mode as soon as the bell rings. His knees bend, his heart flutters and he begins to make his way towards his opponent. However, upon arriving at the other side of the octogon, instead of coming upon a memorable GM with a discernable personality, he happens upon kujo fucking fectas sister! Timpig immediately delivers a roundhouse kick to the back of his head while he is distracted, ending the match as quickly as it began.
Timpig advances to Round 2.
Weighing in at the same amount JHB has lost, with a height of not enough, in the left corner, we have: TIMMMMPIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGG
Weighing in at ?????? with a height of ??????, in the right corner we have: KUUUUUUUUUJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DING DING DING DING!
Timpig instinctively goes into a crouching tiger mode as soon as the bell rings. His knees bend, his heart flutters and he begins to make his way towards his opponent. However, upon arriving at the other side of the octogon, instead of coming upon a memorable GM with a discernable personality, he happens upon kujo fucking fectas sister! Timpig immediately delivers a roundhouse kick to the back of his head while he is distracted, ending the match as quickly as it began.
Timpig advances to Round 2.
ROUND 1: SKROUSE VS DELAP
Weighing in at like 155 lbs and not more than 5’8, in the left corner, we have: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
Weighing in at what I’ve been told is slightly overweight, and probably average male height, in the right corner, we have:
SKROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCE!
DING DING DING DING!
Weighing in at like 155 lbs and not more than 5’8, in the left corner, we have: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
Weighing in at what I’ve been told is slightly overweight, and probably average male height, in the right corner, we have:
SKROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCE!
DING DING DING DING!
Delap knows he has to win with his mind. He’s not in very good shape, and frankly, is rather opposed to violence.
“What current head coach is the only player in NBA history to shoot three-pointers above .500 in three different seasons?”
Skrouse stand stupified. Figuring out the answer consumed him. Drops of sweat began to drip down his forehead, onto his face. His back was wet. His balls were chafing. He needed a light. Pulling out a joint, Skrouse lights it and takes a big inhale.
Delap, sensing the weakness, immediately calls the police and has skrouse arrested.
“What current head coach is the only player in NBA history to shoot three-pointers above .500 in three different seasons?”
Skrouse stand stupified. Figuring out the answer consumed him. Drops of sweat began to drip down his forehead, onto his face. His back was wet. His balls were chafing. He needed a light. Pulling out a joint, Skrouse lights it and takes a big inhale.
Delap, sensing the weakness, immediately calls the police and has skrouse arrested.
Delap advances to Round 2.
ROUND 1: MIKE VS ODIN
Weighing in at 185 pesos and 150 centimeters, in the left corner, we have the argentinian sensation: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE
Weighing in at “please dont sit on me” and standing at like 7 foot, in the right corner, we have: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH DIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
ROUND 1: MIKE VS ODIN
Weighing in at 185 pesos and 150 centimeters, in the left corner, we have the argentinian sensation: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE
Weighing in at “please dont sit on me” and standing at like 7 foot, in the right corner, we have: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH DIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Mike knows what is about to happen. Odin is a legend. A monster. Many have been slayed by his hand throughout history, and here was his reincarnation standing before him.
Odin walked up to Mike. Mike's knees began to knock together. His entire life began to flash before his eyes. The dirty war. Spinning Records. Practicing English. Zan Tabak.
He couldn't take the images anymore, so he closed his eyes.
"Ay Carumba" he whispered to himself.
Odin advances to Round 2.
ROUND 1: KN88 vs BK
Weighing in at most likely 220 lbs of probably pure muscle, in the left corner, we have: KAYYYYYYYYY ENNNNNNNNNNNNN EIGHTY EIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
Weighing in at 179 lbs with a height of 6’1, in the right corner, we have: BEEEEEEEEEE KAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
DING DING DING DING!
kn88 pulls a gun out of his pocket and shoots BK in the stomach.
BK looks down in shock, grabbing his abdomen he tries to hold his instestines from falling out of his body. He falls to his knees. He blinks. Just as the lights begin to dim, a robot car ramps onto the octagon, and due to racial bias in AI immediately strikes KN88 dead.
@bkisok advances to Round 2.
ROUND 1: FECTA VS WARD
Weighing in at probably 165 lbs, and a generous height estimate of 5’8, in the left corner, we have: FECCCCCTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Weighing in at the weight of two fistfulls of rings and a massive cock, in the right corner, we have: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRDDDDDD!
DING DING DING DING!
Ward lifts one hand toward his face, tattooed across the back is “4.0”, and on each finger is a championship ring. His other hand, marked with “5.0” stays low, near his nether regions. He begins to walk toward fecta, who has been stretching diligently on the other side of the octagon.
Upon seeing movement from his opponent, Fecta immediately jumps up and begins jogging in place. “I got him now,'' he thought, as his knees began pumping, up and down, up and down.
Ward gets within striking distance of his opponent and pulls his fist back to strike at Fecta’s unarmored temple. Punching with the full force of 5 rings, the perpetual champion @w2d comes within inches of smashing Fecta’s head until his blow is diverted! Fecta’s own gauntlet of 5 rings deflects the attack!
Ward stumbles, but spins around bringing the full weight of his other fist barreling through the air at a speed so fast the air begins to ‘WOOSH’, unfortunately Fecta went afk and receives the full force of the blow on his left shoulder, with a shockwave so great that his neck immediately snaps, ending his life.
Ward advances to Round 2.
ROUND 1: JHB VS MAJIC
Weighin in at probably like 280 lbs and I’m guessing like 5’10, in the left corner we have: JAYYY
EIGCHHHHHHH BEEEE!
Weighing in at 200 lbs of lean majic man, with a height of 6’1 when he spikes his hair, in the right corner we have: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!
Weighing in at probably 165 lbs, and a generous height estimate of 5’8, in the left corner, we have: FECCCCCTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Weighing in at the weight of two fistfulls of rings and a massive cock, in the right corner, we have: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRDDDDDD!
DING DING DING DING!
Ward lifts one hand toward his face, tattooed across the back is “4.0”, and on each finger is a championship ring. His other hand, marked with “5.0” stays low, near his nether regions. He begins to walk toward fecta, who has been stretching diligently on the other side of the octagon.
Upon seeing movement from his opponent, Fecta immediately jumps up and begins jogging in place. “I got him now,'' he thought, as his knees began pumping, up and down, up and down.
Ward gets within striking distance of his opponent and pulls his fist back to strike at Fecta’s unarmored temple. Punching with the full force of 5 rings, the perpetual champion @w2d comes within inches of smashing Fecta’s head until his blow is diverted! Fecta’s own gauntlet of 5 rings deflects the attack!
Ward stumbles, but spins around bringing the full weight of his other fist barreling through the air at a speed so fast the air begins to ‘WOOSH’, unfortunately Fecta went afk and receives the full force of the blow on his left shoulder, with a shockwave so great that his neck immediately snaps, ending his life.
Ward advances to Round 2.
ROUND 1: JHB VS MAJIC
Weighin in at probably like 280 lbs and I’m guessing like 5’10, in the left corner we have: JAYYY
EIGCHHHHHHH BEEEE!
Weighing in at 200 lbs of lean majic man, with a height of 6’1 when he spikes his hair, in the right corner we have: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!
DING DING DING DING!
“You can be anything you want to be,” the profoundly personal and powerful words of JHB’s personal trainer reverberate through his skull as he stands here in the corner of the octogan. Sweat begins to pour down his forehead. Was he ready for this? Of course he was. He’s trained his entire life for this moment. He started an expansion team and won 60 games. Looking down, he sees his “TMB’s Biggest Loser” sash adorning his uniform, and knows that he has it within him to do whatever he wants to do. And right now he wanted to beat the hell out of Majic.
JHB raises his fists in a fighting stance. This would be a tough fight, Majic, while not showing any mental ability to be able to learn or retain concepts (rules) was a known jock who probably beat people up in school for fun. JHB licks his lips. They taste salty. He takes a step forward.
Majic then throws a football probably 80 yards directly into JHBs groin. JHB falls and has a stroke.
Majic advances to Round 2.
JHB raises his fists in a fighting stance. This would be a tough fight, Majic, while not showing any mental ability to be able to learn or retain concepts (rules) was a known jock who probably beat people up in school for fun. JHB licks his lips. They taste salty. He takes a step forward.
Majic then throws a football probably 80 yards directly into JHBs groin. JHB falls and has a stroke.
Majic advances to Round 2.
Stay Tuned for Round 2 of BK's 1st Annual General Manager Mixed Martial Arts!
