In SHOCKING turn of events, GM Pig sheds unconscious bias
May 31, 2019 18:01:34 GMT
👨🏼⚕️delapandemic🚑 and eric like this
Post by TimPig on May 31, 2019 18:01:34 GMT
Adrienne Wojkninineuski
TMBSL.org
In a move that shocked fans, players, and general managers around TMBSL, the Chicago Bulls acquired African-American female point guard Skylar Diggins from the Miami Heat for male power forward Zion Williamson and cash considerations.
While GM Pig has maintained that he is completely unaware of any so-called "unconscious bias", the possibility of its existence has been a dark cloud over his storied tenure as the boss of one of TMBSL's most well-renowned franchises.
"Does this clear me of my unconscious bias?" Pig asked the gathered media rhetorically. "Well, I can't really get rid of what I don't have. I have the least unconscious bias of any general manager. That's one thing I am conscious of. The only unconscious bias I have is the conscious one I have against all of you, who have constantly and consciously bemoaned my unconscious bias. Now how about you shut the hell up before I knock you unconscious?"
Commissioner Höffmann was present at the press conference, but refused to offer comment as he was chased by reporters out of the building, clearly shook by the recent developments.
"Once again I tried to overstep my bounds and veto this trade because I can," Höffmann commented, "but Pig, as always, was a step ahead. My hands are tied."
Höffmann, who is rumored to be planning a league-wide mandate that general managers include their preferred pronouns in their user names, recently vetoed a trade that would have brought Chinese superstar Yao Ming to Chicago.
"Funny that he had no issues keeping a Chinese man in the desolate wasteland of Charlotte, isn't it?" said Pig. "I'm sure it was just a coincidence that there was no memo distributed to league GMs during the month of May to recognize Asian Pacific American Heritage Month."
TMBSL.org
In a move that shocked fans, players, and general managers around TMBSL, the Chicago Bulls acquired African-American female point guard Skylar Diggins from the Miami Heat for male power forward Zion Williamson and cash considerations.
While GM Pig has maintained that he is completely unaware of any so-called "unconscious bias", the possibility of its existence has been a dark cloud over his storied tenure as the boss of one of TMBSL's most well-renowned franchises.
"Does this clear me of my unconscious bias?" Pig asked the gathered media rhetorically. "Well, I can't really get rid of what I don't have. I have the least unconscious bias of any general manager. That's one thing I am conscious of. The only unconscious bias I have is the conscious one I have against all of you, who have constantly and consciously bemoaned my unconscious bias. Now how about you shut the hell up before I knock you unconscious?"
Commissioner Höffmann was present at the press conference, but refused to offer comment as he was chased by reporters out of the building, clearly shook by the recent developments.
"Once again I tried to overstep my bounds and veto this trade because I can," Höffmann commented, "but Pig, as always, was a step ahead. My hands are tied."
Höffmann, who is rumored to be planning a league-wide mandate that general managers include their preferred pronouns in their user names, recently vetoed a trade that would have brought Chinese superstar Yao Ming to Chicago.
"Funny that he had no issues keeping a Chinese man in the desolate wasteland of Charlotte, isn't it?" said Pig. "I'm sure it was just a coincidence that there was no memo distributed to league GMs during the month of May to recognize Asian Pacific American Heritage Month."
