Scandal! Team Relocation! Rand McNally Bankrupt! Exclamation Point Shortage!
Dec 10, 2018 15:38:30 GMT
TimPig, 👨🏼⚕️delapandemic🚑, and 3 more like this
Post by eric on Dec 10, 2018 15:38:30 GMT
The white flight epidemic continues today as general manager Odin Borrson announced the relocation of the Raptors from inner city Toronto to suburban Memphis. Per the official press release:
"Whatever."
Torontologicals took to the streets in protest, forming an orderly line that stretched from the CN Tower to [look up some other Canadian landmark] to politely ask this reporter whether Odin needed any help moving.
"Sure we'd like him to stay, but there's no sense being jerks about it, eh? I've got a hand truck he could borrow." one Canadian was heard to remark as others nodded quietly or offered some variation on "You said it, Gord."
While Memphis keeps the team within the Canadian border, onlookers around the league expressed concern that the move presaged an eventual move to an actual American state, which would leave only the Vancouver and Milwaukee clubs in the sprawling arctic-American territory.
Allegations that the Denver and Detroit professional basketball franchises switched places have been conclusively disproven. Experts chalk the misunderstanding up to the reefer addiction paralyzing large swaths of greater Colorado, and also whatever state Denver is in, probably.
"Whatever."
Torontologicals took to the streets in protest, forming an orderly line that stretched from the CN Tower to [look up some other Canadian landmark] to politely ask this reporter whether Odin needed any help moving.
"Sure we'd like him to stay, but there's no sense being jerks about it, eh? I've got a hand truck he could borrow." one Canadian was heard to remark as others nodded quietly or offered some variation on "You said it, Gord."
While Memphis keeps the team within the Canadian border, onlookers around the league expressed concern that the move presaged an eventual move to an actual American state, which would leave only the Vancouver and Milwaukee clubs in the sprawling arctic-American territory.
Allegations that the Denver and Detroit professional basketball franchises switched places have been conclusively disproven. Experts chalk the misunderstanding up to the reefer addiction paralyzing large swaths of greater Colorado, and also whatever state Denver is in, probably.