Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2018 17:22:33 GMT
Bison Dele claims to break the vaunted "Rule of Fives" that has been known to plague sim league for the entirety of 5.0.
"The 'Rule of Fives' is basically this:", says JHB, the man who invented the so called rule, "Anyone who was picked at 1.5 in the TMBSL 5.0 draft always has their best year as their rookie year, and has not outperformed it since".
Sitting at 1.1 Win shares on a paltry 41% shooting last season, the Rule of Fives would leave Bison Dele in the dumpster this season. However, no player picked at 5 has received the resources enhancement between his rookie and sophomore season that Dele has. Last season, Dele was forgotten on the 2nd team of the Bulls GM TimPig. Timpig did his best with the team, however he is absolutely terrible at everything that involves success, so his best move was upping Dele's handled by 10 points.
"Timpig really thought I needed to be handled more", muses Dele, "He would call me over behind the bleachers during practice. He'd pass me the ball and then he'd put his hands all over me. I asked him what was going on. He just 'sidled' himself up to me, and told me that I needed to work on my "handling". I thought my handling was great, but he would keep calling me over during practice -- usually during inside scoring or blocking drills -- and just constantly fondle me. It really put me in a poor state of mind for gameday, and made me less trusting of my teammates".
"Billy King has been exactly what I've always wanted in a GM. This man knows how to run a team. I remember walking into practice on the first day of the pre-preseason, and when I noticed BK standing with the coaches watching the players doing drills, instead of greasing up behind the bleachers -- I knew this year was going to be special".
"He also gave me an injection of roids".
It is for these reasons that many inside and outside of the organization believe that Dele will be the first player to break the "Rule of Fives".
Timpig's spokesperson declined to comment on the above story.
"The 'Rule of Fives' is basically this:", says JHB, the man who invented the so called rule, "Anyone who was picked at 1.5 in the TMBSL 5.0 draft always has their best year as their rookie year, and has not outperformed it since".
Sitting at 1.1 Win shares on a paltry 41% shooting last season, the Rule of Fives would leave Bison Dele in the dumpster this season. However, no player picked at 5 has received the resources enhancement between his rookie and sophomore season that Dele has. Last season, Dele was forgotten on the 2nd team of the Bulls GM TimPig. Timpig did his best with the team, however he is absolutely terrible at everything that involves success, so his best move was upping Dele's handled by 10 points.
"Timpig really thought I needed to be handled more", muses Dele, "He would call me over behind the bleachers during practice. He'd pass me the ball and then he'd put his hands all over me. I asked him what was going on. He just 'sidled' himself up to me, and told me that I needed to work on my "handling". I thought my handling was great, but he would keep calling me over during practice -- usually during inside scoring or blocking drills -- and just constantly fondle me. It really put me in a poor state of mind for gameday, and made me less trusting of my teammates".
"Billy King has been exactly what I've always wanted in a GM. This man knows how to run a team. I remember walking into practice on the first day of the pre-preseason, and when I noticed BK standing with the coaches watching the players doing drills, instead of greasing up behind the bleachers -- I knew this year was going to be special".
"He also gave me an injection of roids".
It is for these reasons that many inside and outside of the organization believe that Dele will be the first player to break the "Rule of Fives".
Timpig's spokesperson declined to comment on the above story.
