Post-rebranding, Flamingo Bob™ sets his sights on (champion?)ships
Oct 3, 2018 14:33:47 GMT
TimPig, 👨🏼⚕️delapandemic🚑, and 3 more like this
Post by jhb on Oct 3, 2018 14:33:47 GMT
The Artist Formerly Known as Grayson Allen scheduled an impromptu press conference Tuesday night to announce to the world that he's rebranded himself as "Flamingo Bob™". The Sim Times was at the press conference to capture the bizarre announcement as Flamingo Bob™ revealed himself to the world while standing on one leg, flapping his arms like wings, and wearing a bright pink robe that would make Ric Flair blush. His statement follows:
"Good evening, esteemed members of the media, beloved family members, Dad, teammates, members of the Hawks organization...I have gathered you here tonight to announce the next chapter in the Grayson Allen storybook. No longer will I be Grayson Allen, a brand remembered largely for bitchassedness and ball-tapping, I have now become...FLAMINGO BOB™ (Editor's note: the speaker did indeed say 'trademark' every time he referred to himself in the third person).
Inspired by the Hawks' "Birds of Prey" marketing campaign and a trip to the Atlanta zoo I took last week, I've decided to move my brand in a new direction by paying homage to the most fearsome wading bird in most zoos that have flamingo exhibits. The flamingo is a regal, majestic creature...like me...and it embodies all the characteristics that I want the world to think of when they think of me, Flamingo Bob™. Also, like a flamingo, my favorite food is shrimp and I'm a social butterfly. We both love peacocking (Editor's note: Flamingo Bob™ was interrupted here by a member of the media who asked him if he realized that a peacock was a totally different species of bird and Bob responded by staring blankly at the reporter for a few seconds before returning to his monologue.) The similarities are endless.
Starting tomorrow, you can get onto my website at FlamingoBob™.biz and buy your exclusive Flamingo Bob™ merchandise. Items include Flamingo Bob™ lawn ornaments, the signature Flamingo Bob™ pink robe, and the Flamingo Bob™ exclusive athletic cup groin protector. Items start at $499.99 (Editor's note: recently retired Lavar Ball serves as the Director of Online Merchandising for Flamingo Bob™). Get it while you still can, orders are flying in.
Thank you everyone for your time today. I know that Flamingo Bob™ will take TMBSL by storm. We're coming for the ship (Editor's note: Mr. Bob was not clear if by this he meant championship or some actual water-based vessel). Please respect my decision, no questions."
And that was it. No explanation was ever given for why he chose the "Bob" in Flamingo Bob™.
"Good evening, esteemed members of the media, beloved family members, Dad, teammates, members of the Hawks organization...I have gathered you here tonight to announce the next chapter in the Grayson Allen storybook. No longer will I be Grayson Allen, a brand remembered largely for bitchassedness and ball-tapping, I have now become...FLAMINGO BOB™ (Editor's note: the speaker did indeed say 'trademark' every time he referred to himself in the third person).
Inspired by the Hawks' "Birds of Prey" marketing campaign and a trip to the Atlanta zoo I took last week, I've decided to move my brand in a new direction by paying homage to the most fearsome wading bird in most zoos that have flamingo exhibits. The flamingo is a regal, majestic creature...like me...and it embodies all the characteristics that I want the world to think of when they think of me, Flamingo Bob™. Also, like a flamingo, my favorite food is shrimp and I'm a social butterfly. We both love peacocking (Editor's note: Flamingo Bob™ was interrupted here by a member of the media who asked him if he realized that a peacock was a totally different species of bird and Bob responded by staring blankly at the reporter for a few seconds before returning to his monologue.) The similarities are endless.
Starting tomorrow, you can get onto my website at FlamingoBob™.biz and buy your exclusive Flamingo Bob™ merchandise. Items include Flamingo Bob™ lawn ornaments, the signature Flamingo Bob™ pink robe, and the Flamingo Bob™ exclusive athletic cup groin protector. Items start at $499.99 (Editor's note: recently retired Lavar Ball serves as the Director of Online Merchandising for Flamingo Bob™). Get it while you still can, orders are flying in.
Thank you everyone for your time today. I know that Flamingo Bob™ will take TMBSL by storm. We're coming for the ship (Editor's note: Mr. Bob was not clear if by this he meant championship or some actual water-based vessel). Please respect my decision, no questions."
And that was it. No explanation was ever given for why he chose the "Bob" in Flamingo Bob™.
