The Decision: Chicago Bulls, GM Pig declare holy war on Jamison, Houston Rockets
Sept 21, 2018 19:55:52 GMT
ahebrewtoo, skrouse, and 1 more like this
Post by TimPig on Sept 21, 2018 19:55:52 GMT
Adrienne Wojhiuecbewiski
TMBSL TV
In a shocking turn of events, Antawn Jamison turned down a seven-year, $120 million contract with the Chicago Bulls team that drafted him in favor of the six-year max offered by the Houston Rockets.
During a six-hour exclusive television interview with the TMBSL Television Network, Jamison announced his intentions to depart the only team he had ever played for to join Brain Winter and the Houston Rockets.
"I'm going to take my talents to the Space City and join the Houston Rockets," announced the North Carolina product four hours and 19 minutes into the television special.
Within minutes, Chicago was in flames.
Literally. Fans began burning their Antawn Jamison jerseys in the streets, significantly restricting traffic flow in multiple parts of the city.
Billboards were vandalized. The picture below is of the billboard on the corner of W Madison St and S Damen Avenue just outside of the United Center.
(Associated Press - Image Edited due to graphic content)
Bulls General Manager Timothy Pig was shocked by the news and did not publicly comment for hours after it happened.
When he finally did release an official statement, he did not hold back.
"There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you. Also I'm declaring a holy war on the Houston Rockets, Antawn Jamison, and their slimy general manager, the self-proclaimed "handsome" Pete.
You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CHICAGO BULLS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED 'TWAN' WINS ONE"
Hours later, GM Pig was spotted with Utah Jazz general manager Dankly the Lionhearted in the Chicago neighborhood of Wicker Park, surrounded by college-aged children screaming "**** 'Twan!" loud enough to drown out the melodic and rhythmic patterns of the band on stage.
The response around the league was mixed. Upon hearing of Pig's declaration, Rockets GM Handsome Pete provided a calm response.
"Perhaps this is an opportunity for [Tim] to look inward. Find out what [he] did to cause Antawn to want to leave."
Rival General Manager A. Hebrew II of the Indiana Pacers took it as an opportunity to outwardly criticize the player who had compiled a 9-3 record against the Pacers over three of the past four years because for some reason we don't have schedules from the 2004 season.
"We didn't even offer him because he's not good. It's that simple," Hebrew II said. "People cite his offensive efficiency as a reason why he is good. But anyone that watches games knows he gets easy buckets because he leaks out in transition basically as soon as his man crosses half court. If you don't ever play defense, it's easy to be good at offense. It's called cherry picking and we play a different brand of basketball in Indiana."
The additional flexibility in cap room that opened up with Jamison's departure allowed the Bulls to work out a mutual sign-and-trade deal with the Jazz to bring in Clarence Withers and Jarred Vanderbilt that should help solidify Chicago's wing situation. In return, Chicago sent Trevon Duval, Sarunas Jasikevicius, a future first-round pick, and cash considerations to the Jazz.
The Bulls made it clear that they were willing to make Jamison one of the highest paid players in the league despite claims that he's "not good." They made every effort to surround him with elite talent, adding DeAndre Ayton, Brandon Griner, Neon Boudeaux, and Nick King during Jamison's tenure in Chicago, but none of it was enough.
"You know, maybe it's for the best," Pig said when reached for comment the following morning. "Obviously he wasn't able to get us over the hump. He's a loser, plain and simple. This team, this organization, and this city are better off without him here."
TMBSL TV
In a shocking turn of events, Antawn Jamison turned down a seven-year, $120 million contract with the Chicago Bulls team that drafted him in favor of the six-year max offered by the Houston Rockets.
During a six-hour exclusive television interview with the TMBSL Television Network, Jamison announced his intentions to depart the only team he had ever played for to join Brain Winter and the Houston Rockets.
"I'm going to take my talents to the Space City and join the Houston Rockets," announced the North Carolina product four hours and 19 minutes into the television special.
Within minutes, Chicago was in flames.
Literally. Fans began burning their Antawn Jamison jerseys in the streets, significantly restricting traffic flow in multiple parts of the city.
Billboards were vandalized. The picture below is of the billboard on the corner of W Madison St and S Damen Avenue just outside of the United Center.
(Associated Press - Image Edited due to graphic content)
Bulls General Manager Timothy Pig was shocked by the news and did not publicly comment for hours after it happened.
When he finally did release an official statement, he did not hold back.
"There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you. Also I'm declaring a holy war on the Houston Rockets, Antawn Jamison, and their slimy general manager, the self-proclaimed "handsome" Pete.
You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CHICAGO BULLS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED 'TWAN' WINS ONE"
Hours later, GM Pig was spotted with Utah Jazz general manager Dankly the Lionhearted in the Chicago neighborhood of Wicker Park, surrounded by college-aged children screaming "**** 'Twan!" loud enough to drown out the melodic and rhythmic patterns of the band on stage.
The response around the league was mixed. Upon hearing of Pig's declaration, Rockets GM Handsome Pete provided a calm response.
"Perhaps this is an opportunity for [Tim] to look inward. Find out what [he] did to cause Antawn to want to leave."
Rival General Manager A. Hebrew II of the Indiana Pacers took it as an opportunity to outwardly criticize the player who had compiled a 9-3 record against the Pacers over three of the past four years because for some reason we don't have schedules from the 2004 season.
"We didn't even offer him because he's not good. It's that simple," Hebrew II said. "People cite his offensive efficiency as a reason why he is good. But anyone that watches games knows he gets easy buckets because he leaks out in transition basically as soon as his man crosses half court. If you don't ever play defense, it's easy to be good at offense. It's called cherry picking and we play a different brand of basketball in Indiana."
The additional flexibility in cap room that opened up with Jamison's departure allowed the Bulls to work out a mutual sign-and-trade deal with the Jazz to bring in Clarence Withers and Jarred Vanderbilt that should help solidify Chicago's wing situation. In return, Chicago sent Trevon Duval, Sarunas Jasikevicius, a future first-round pick, and cash considerations to the Jazz.
The Bulls made it clear that they were willing to make Jamison one of the highest paid players in the league despite claims that he's "not good." They made every effort to surround him with elite talent, adding DeAndre Ayton, Brandon Griner, Neon Boudeaux, and Nick King during Jamison's tenure in Chicago, but none of it was enough.
"You know, maybe it's for the best," Pig said when reached for comment the following morning. "Obviously he wasn't able to get us over the hump. He's a loser, plain and simple. This team, this organization, and this city are better off without him here."
