Post by jhb on Jul 24, 2018 14:29:04 GMT
Phoenix Suns
Do you realize you signed a terrible big to a 2 year max to be a backup and then doubled down to trade for a 31 year old big on a five year max that also can't rebound? The only good big piece you have fell into your lap. Have you considered outsourcing your big man scouting/signing/trading to someone else? Boom, roasted.
Portland Trailblazers
Dirk per 36: 14.7 ppg, 9.1 rpg, 0.3 bpg. Way to take advantage of your big jump up the lottery board. Boom, roasted.
Houston Rockets
Just think...if everyone else hadn't been too chickenshit to draft Brain Winter, your teams wouldn't have been worth a fuck in 5.0. Maybe someone more deserving would have had the opportunity to choke away two Finals appearances. Also, predictions. Boom, roasted.
Utah Jazz
Yeah, well Hassani Gravett still looks like an alien and sucks at basketball. Boom, roasted.
Dallas Mavericks
How does it feel to know that your otherwise championship-caliber team has a weekly players' meeting to discuss how inept you are at getting them a championship-level PG? Boom, roasted.
Vancouver Grizzlies
Look at all these commish specials that the former commish scooped up on long-term, low-money deals. At least we know he won't be able to use these to get an unfair advantage as a GM, since he's never won anything anyways. Boom, roasted.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Everyone look at the great job Ian has done by getting the first overall pick and obvious cheat code Collin Sexton and using him to make 4 playoff appearances that all lasted an average of 7 games. Once again they are limping to a perfectly content bottom of the playoff bracket finish. You do know that this isn't 3 on 3 and you are supposed to get players that are starting caliber at SG and SF, right? Boom, roasted.
Sacramento Kings
Voted most likely GM to end up on "Who is America" saying really dumb stuff to Sacha Baron Cohen. More topically, you do realize that you are the team that will end up giving the Clippers their spot in the playoff, right? Boom, roasted.
Los Angeles Clippers
Congrats on yet another season season in the playoffs. *checks notes* Boom, roasted.
Los Angeles Lakers
Leaving this one blank for now so SPL doesn't get his feelings hurt and threaten to quit. Boom, roasted.
Golden State Warriors
Maybe one thing you could do to get out of the basement is actually attempt to GM this team. Boom, roasted.
Seattle Supersonics
Romeo Langford contract. Boom, roasted.
Denver Nuggets
We're going to build a wall around the playoffs and make Argentina pay for it. Boom, roasted.
San Antonio Spurs
It's always nice to see a team upgrade to a more engaged GM than MJ. *checks notes* Boom, roasted.
Orlando Magic
How does it feel to know that despite being number one in your conference, the only reason your team isn't suffering from your incompetence in finding a point guard or a center that can rebound is being rewarded is that every other GM in your conference is somehow more incompetent. Boom, roasted.
Atlanta Hawks
Imagine having the audacity and total lack of self-awareness to write a condescending article like this while GM'ing perhaps the worst division leading team in the history of sim league. Boom, roasted.
New York Knicks
Basketball has five positions, not two. Try improving something other than center or power forward and maybe you'll get over the hump. Boom, roasted.
Indiana Pacers
Imagine being right behind the standings from the guy with the audacity and total lack of self-awareness to write a condescending article like this while GM'ing perhaps the worst division leading team in the history of sim league. Boom, roasted. PS. Chalky still available.
Chicago Bulls
Could apply to the playoffs last year or the division title this year. Boom, roasted.
Washington Bullets
Look what happens when years of not trying pays off because the people around you that are trying are just that shitty. Boom, roasted.
Harlem Globetrotters
Remember when this team was good lol. Boom, roasted.
Milwaukee Bucks
#FreeDeAndreAyton. Boom, roasted.
Detroit Pistons
Chris Chiozza says hi from all the way up in first place. Boom, roasted.
Miami Heat
Imagine being a part of a magical offseason like Miami's last year and then realizing that Yawn is still at the wheel so it won't matter. Boom, roasted.
Boston Celtics
At least the blame for Sekou Doumbaya having his career ruined will be shared by 15-20 GM's instead of just RV? Boom, roasted.
Toronto Raptors
Did Andrew Luck sign the bigs for this team? Boom, double roasted.
Washington Wizards
At least H/T has 3-5 seasons of being excited about his young core before he realizes they're approaching 30 and he still isn't back in the playoffs. Boom, roasted.
Charlotte Hornets
Fecta's 5.0 career. Boom, roasted.
Cleveland Cavaliers
This team is so bad it can't even get someone to GM it. Sometime sim life reflects real life. This was a joke about GM LeBron leaving for LA. Wow, great stuff, JHB. Boom, roasted.
Do you realize you signed a terrible big to a 2 year max to be a backup and then doubled down to trade for a 31 year old big on a five year max that also can't rebound? The only good big piece you have fell into your lap. Have you considered outsourcing your big man scouting/signing/trading to someone else? Boom, roasted.
Portland Trailblazers
Dirk per 36: 14.7 ppg, 9.1 rpg, 0.3 bpg. Way to take advantage of your big jump up the lottery board. Boom, roasted.
Houston Rockets
Just think...if everyone else hadn't been too chickenshit to draft Brain Winter, your teams wouldn't have been worth a fuck in 5.0. Maybe someone more deserving would have had the opportunity to choke away two Finals appearances. Also, predictions. Boom, roasted.
Utah Jazz
Yeah, well Hassani Gravett still looks like an alien and sucks at basketball. Boom, roasted.
Dallas Mavericks
How does it feel to know that your otherwise championship-caliber team has a weekly players' meeting to discuss how inept you are at getting them a championship-level PG? Boom, roasted.
Vancouver Grizzlies
Look at all these commish specials that the former commish scooped up on long-term, low-money deals. At least we know he won't be able to use these to get an unfair advantage as a GM, since he's never won anything anyways. Boom, roasted.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Everyone look at the great job Ian has done by getting the first overall pick and obvious cheat code Collin Sexton and using him to make 4 playoff appearances that all lasted an average of 7 games. Once again they are limping to a perfectly content bottom of the playoff bracket finish. You do know that this isn't 3 on 3 and you are supposed to get players that are starting caliber at SG and SF, right? Boom, roasted.
Sacramento Kings
Voted most likely GM to end up on "Who is America" saying really dumb stuff to Sacha Baron Cohen. More topically, you do realize that you are the team that will end up giving the Clippers their spot in the playoff, right? Boom, roasted.
Los Angeles Clippers
Congrats on yet another season season in the playoffs. *checks notes* Boom, roasted.
Los Angeles Lakers
Leaving this one blank for now so SPL doesn't get his feelings hurt and threaten to quit. Boom, roasted.
Golden State Warriors
Maybe one thing you could do to get out of the basement is actually attempt to GM this team. Boom, roasted.
Seattle Supersonics
Romeo Langford contract. Boom, roasted.
Denver Nuggets
We're going to build a wall around the playoffs and make Argentina pay for it. Boom, roasted.
San Antonio Spurs
It's always nice to see a team upgrade to a more engaged GM than MJ. *checks notes* Boom, roasted.
Orlando Magic
How does it feel to know that despite being number one in your conference, the only reason your team isn't suffering from your incompetence in finding a point guard or a center that can rebound is being rewarded is that every other GM in your conference is somehow more incompetent. Boom, roasted.
Atlanta Hawks
Imagine having the audacity and total lack of self-awareness to write a condescending article like this while GM'ing perhaps the worst division leading team in the history of sim league. Boom, roasted.
New York Knicks
Basketball has five positions, not two. Try improving something other than center or power forward and maybe you'll get over the hump. Boom, roasted.
Indiana Pacers
Imagine being right behind the standings from the guy with the audacity and total lack of self-awareness to write a condescending article like this while GM'ing perhaps the worst division leading team in the history of sim league. Boom, roasted. PS. Chalky still available.
Chicago Bulls
Could apply to the playoffs last year or the division title this year. Boom, roasted.
Washington Bullets
Look what happens when years of not trying pays off because the people around you that are trying are just that shitty. Boom, roasted.
Harlem Globetrotters
Remember when this team was good lol. Boom, roasted.
Milwaukee Bucks
#FreeDeAndreAyton. Boom, roasted.
Detroit Pistons
Chris Chiozza says hi from all the way up in first place. Boom, roasted.
Miami Heat
Imagine being a part of a magical offseason like Miami's last year and then realizing that Yawn is still at the wheel so it won't matter. Boom, roasted.
Boston Celtics
At least the blame for Sekou Doumbaya having his career ruined will be shared by 15-20 GM's instead of just RV? Boom, roasted.
Toronto Raptors
Did Andrew Luck sign the bigs for this team? Boom, double roasted.
Washington Wizards
At least H/T has 3-5 seasons of being excited about his young core before he realizes they're approaching 30 and he still isn't back in the playoffs. Boom, roasted.
Charlotte Hornets
Fecta's 5.0 career. Boom, roasted.
Cleveland Cavaliers
This team is so bad it can't even get someone to GM it. Sometime sim life reflects real life. This was a joke about GM LeBron leaving for LA. Wow, great stuff, JHB. Boom, roasted.
