The Monroe Square Garden Ringed Hall of Famous Honor (231 views)

[eric]

"There's really only one person we could start our Famous Ring of Hall with." James Dolan began, gesturing indecipherably with a pack of Marlboro Reds. "The first- you already know what I'm gonna say," he continued before laughing theatrically for an uncomfortable three minutes. "The first, the alpha and the omega, the number one pick of our creation draft trade committee, we sent the picks that would turn into Brain Winter and Leonard Leslie to get him and it was worth every pig penny, Mister Jesse Epstein! Yeah what a great speech! Boy I would start clapping if I didn't want to get fired, my dad owns a dealership, I'll do it."

After vocally encouraging the audience to applaud his speech for an interminable period, Dolan seemed to remember the purpose of the news conference and unveiled an animatronic statue of the player in question:



Wait that's not it. Bruce can we go to number twelve?



Jesse Epstein led captained and crowned the nascent Knicks dynasty to a thrilling N.B.A. Finals victory over the heavily favored, high flying, limousine riding, WOO, sequin wearing, ride sharing, WOO, coastal elite Houston Rockets. Having accomplished more than any player possibly could in a full career, Epstein then took on a mentor role to emerging superstar Quincy McCall who if you want to be technical about it actually started for the Knicks in the 2000 playoffs but nobody asked you, did they smart guy? before touring the misbegotten backwaters of sim league, bringing a touch of class and professionalism to such bumpkinneries as Orlando, Indiana, and the The Angels Clippers of Anaheim County and Hartfordshire.

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Jesse Epstein

[eric]

Knicks On Cloud Nine as New Member Joins Famous Hall of Rings and Honor

There's something special about the number nine here in Manhattan. Residents from Van Cortland Park to Flushing Meadows know and love the 9 "train", Yankee and Metropolitan fans are both known to partake in the ninth inning stretch, and the ninth President of the United States was born in the very heart of the city so nice they named it twice. (The other name is the Windy City.)

The New York Town "Stevie" Knicks are no exception. As soon as the creation draft lotto came out partisans were on the edges of their tenterhooks just waiting to see which way the Knicks would go with ol' lucky number nine, and while there were some rumblings of discontent as great players came off the board just ahead, in the long run (and New York fans are famously patient and longsighted) the gem of the draft would ply his trade in Monroe Square Garden.

"With the ninth round pick of the creation draft, the New York Knicks select Jacques "Jock" Landale."

The rough and tumble Aussie game took some time to refine, but it took just as much of a toll on even the most Beastlantical of opposing bench bigs, and it was no surprise the gritty grinders gruesomely grilled the gratuitously grandiloquent Brain "The Main Brain" Winter and the rest of the Rockin' Rockets en route to the inaugural Sim League Championship.

But it wasn't all signed jerseys and cheap wine in Knicksland. Executive General Manager pulled the young phenom aside during exit interviews, looked him in the eye, shook his hand, and informed him that Jock is a pretty dumb name. Also that the championship bill was due, and the for the first and only time in their history capped out Knicks would be unable to make a competitive offer for Landale's services.

Yes, young Landale didn't have far to go, just a ferry ride across the Saint Lawrence River to Harlem. Along with arrivée Delle Donne the newly minted champion transformed the pasty white arrhythmic culture established by Danny Schayes's' dad and led the club to a regular season pennant.

The very next year, it was a familiar face that greeted the blossoming thirty point per game scorer in the The Main Board Sim League Championship Finals - Hughes' Town's own Brain Winter, now supplemented by G League Legend and Sim League Decent Player Guy Beahm. The outcome was very much the same, with the galactic big city swaggerers hornswoggled by the scrappy small town squad - another NASA boondoggle #politics

But for all the night clubbing and deep dish pizzas over the years, Landale's heart yearned for the old stomping ground, a return to the camaraderie and esprit de corps that only one general manager could provide. In a cosmic irony that would bring tears to the eye of any hardened journo flack muckraker, Landale came back to New York in exchange for one time mentor Stan Haynes. A few glissandos on the heart strings weren't going to change the obvious outcome, though:

Yes, Jock was right back to his winning ways, and when the time comes to hang up his cleats he'll retire as the only TMBSLer to win three rings, probably, what am I some kind of nerd over here that I have all that stuff written down?

This is the end of the post.